Just My Heart

I am a big boy in a big world,

A big world that has changes,

Changes that I have to blend in,

Like feelings that twist

 

Simple feelings to confusing feelings,

Confusing feelings that make me think,

Thinking that made me more confused,

Confused this innocent heart of mine

 

Never felt this way before,

Happiness that I felt when I’m with her

I care for her and I make her feel it

Feel what I’m really feeling for her

 

I just let my heart decide,

Decide of what I’m really feeling for her,

Didn’t used logic or any calculations,

Just my heart.

........................

Awards

First Place: Excellent

Oct 4, 2010

• October Love & Darkness rises
• Just My Heart

Reviews

[Helen Woodward]

Just a lovely heartfelt poem Jhas, when you are leading with your heart there is no wrong turn...ever, it seems to have its own wisdom.
Take care with your grammar, use the spell checker in word, that should help.
I loved this piece for its simplicity and promise :-)
Cheers~
Helen~

[Marie Harrison]

Sweet poem.

[ForTheWorld]

wow...this is incredibly beautiful...excellent write.. =D

[Christopher.Holmberg]

keep your heart open!

[mamabear]

I really enjoyed reading this poem. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Keep it up!

Love

Mamabear x

[Voice11]

Just a few grammar twists that make it a little hard to read but I absolutely love this poem! It says so much about how you feel when you first fall in love. Thank you for sharing!

[ariel-the-little-mermai..]

a really good piece i like it keep useing your heart

[Aven]

keep using your heart. :)

[Steve]

Cool! I can relate to the words here......i have a similar style i think.

[Adelia Alighieri]

I understand your feelings, they open up such a different perspective. Well written!

[Wolfe Greytome]

Overall, not a bad piece. While it is obvious that this is either not a style you are comfortable with or it is a subject you are not comfortable with, the potential to become comfortable is there. This piece holds a lot of promise for future writes along these lines. On the matter of your choice of subjects, I can offer no advice. On technique, however, I offer this:

In places your word choices tend to make this piece clumsy. Try reading this piece out loud and try tweaking a word here or there when the cadence doesnt sound right to your ears. You will end up with a piece that has the same emotions behind it, but packs a bigger punch.