She.

Read it with a fast pace!

Its sick how can she be this
She's got everything and nothing to miss
Parents, money, fame and love
I don't know why she wants to be alone

All day she sits and cries
All she does is to whine all night
She cant be happy, even once in a while
She keeps on repeating how things aren't right

She threatens to cut her hands
Fakes tears and determination too
Everyone comes but yet she ain't satisfied
All she says is that, "I want that too!"

She trots in her high heels
Puts on make up like there's no skin to feel
Yet why? Why does she do such things?
Does she want everyone at her feet to kneel?

I can't stand it now, the way she behaves
Acting like everyone is her slave
She ain't depressed, nor a damsel in distress
She's just there, to frill up and dress.

Author's Note

It's a bit akin to rap. Read it with a fast pace! And of course, honest reviews will be appreciated! :)

Reviews

[KWP]

In my honest and humble opinion, I would not write a poem such as this where you are judging another... poetry to me should be connecting with the eternal and not complaining about others, complaining about others is so petty, it brings you down, it brings the reader down too .. I want to feel excited and inspired when I read poems, not feel like somebody is judging another person when the have not lived even for on second looking through the others eyes. Remember, life is not easy, we all have different lessons to learn and see life in our very own unique way.

You have so much ahead of you ... focus on the good and good will fill your soul, when good fills your soul your poetry will jump in leaps and bounds and entice readers to come back again and again :)

just a thought xx

[xDalliance]

I'm so sorry. This opened up a New viewpoint for me. I've always known you should never judge a person and I've always heard that you don't know what they are unless you step into their shoes. But I don't think I remembered all this while writing this poem. I'm very sorry! I'll always try to write things that are better in character. I realize how low this makes me look and how shallow my understanding of the world this would portray.

Thank you for the compliment though about how I have much ahead of me. I will try to concentrate on the good in my life and try to condense it into words. Thank you so very much! :)

[KWP]

Don't be sorry ... I see a lot of poetry on this site where people seem to let life get the better of them ... I have a true sense that you are strong and when you realize that life itself is a celebration then life itself becomes enjoyable ... I only tell you this because you are young and not yet set in your ways :-)

Remember it is only my viewpoint ... I never said I was right .... But you will always get the truth from me ... Sending love to your side of the world xx

[xDalliance]

I'll always be grateful to the little piece of advice you've given me! Your viewpoint matters whether it's wrong or right. Love accepted and double sent to your side of the world! :)

[Zahra]

Looks like some over pampered young girl. :-) very nicely done

[xDalliance]

Thanks neighbour! :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

The plot of this kept me reading...
needs a touch up...
in places --- and this would be more solid...
when you have everything...
nothing is out of reach...
and everything is taken for granted...

here is an example:

Its sick how can she be this
She's got everything and nothing to miss
Parents, money, fame and love
I don't know why she wants to be alone
---
Its sick how can she be like this
She's got everything and nothing amiss
Parents, money, fame and love
I don't know why she wants to be alone
---
All day she sits and cries
All she does is to whine all night
She cant be happy, even once in a while
She keeps on repeating how things aren't right
---
All day she sits and cries
All she does is whine all night
She cant be happy, even once in a while
She keeps on repeating how things aren't right
---
She threatens to cut her hands
Fakes tears and determination too
Everyone comes but yet she ain't satisfied
All she says is that, "I want that too!"
---
She threatens to cut her hands
Fake tears and determination too
Everyone comes but yet she ain't satisfied
All she says is that, "I want that too!"
---
She trots in her high heels
Puts on make up like there's no skin to feel
Yet why? Why does she do such things?
Does she want everyone at her feet to kneel?
---
She trots in her high heels
Puts on make up like there's no skin to feel
Yet why, why does she do such things?
Does she want everyone at her feet to kneel?
---
I can't stand it now, the way she behaves
Acting like everyone is her slave
She ain't depressed, nor a damsel in distress
She's just there, to frill up and dress.
---
I can't stand it now, the way she behaves
Acting like everyone is her slave
She ain't depressed, nor a damsel in distress
She's just there frilled up and dress.
---
a bit of clarity in those areas...and this put the finishing edges...

[xDalliance]

Hmm yes I think your right. Thanks for the insight though! Fantastic review! I will revise it soon! Thank you so very much! :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[Vidya Bacchus]

Very cool J.I have seen girls like this.Who care about nothing and no one but themselves :)

[xDalliance]

Thanks Vi! Yes I think one of the Those girls kindly inspired me to write this piece! Anyways I'm glad you find it cool! :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)