One Day

Poem i wrote on my mothers couch one night to express how i felt at the moment &hoe i've felt all my life towards her...

One day i will Snap,one day all of my bottled up emotions will finally

Unwrap. One day i will Scream,only to one day wake up and realize

this was all a Dream. One day she will Pay,for all the things she's done to me but I've never dared to Say. One day i will Die,but sadly i doubt if she would even Cry. One day she will See,that her child looks upon her as someone she never aspires to Be. One day I'll be Gone,never to return to this place where i don't Belong. One day she will Wish,that instead of a different man it was her children she always Kissed. But one day will be too Late, too late to realize her Mistake, of not cherishing something Great, something that can never be Replaced. Your child, your seed, your daughter.......One day I'll 4give you but today i hate you. I know god wants me to love you but i can't find it in me. It's nowhere to be found,just like you when i was a child,just like you now, nowhere to be found. One day you'll give me a reason why, you've left me at home plenty nights to cry...i hope you read this, that you'll stumble upon this note and find out my true feelings toward you....I'm tired of being sad, of being mad because of something you did...I'm tired of complaining about you to other people...who 4 all i know could care less about my issues. I'm tired of thinking about what things could be like..one day i'll be successful and you'll try your hardest to be a part of my space, you'll be too late.. Just one day, one day, everything will fall in2 place....

Reviews

[JenLyn]

Great write keep it up, although may I suggest that you break it up into stanzas it would make it easier to read in my opinion.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

You wrote with a lot of anger and deep passion. However you lost me with your punctuation and capitaliztions in the middle of sentances. May I suggest that you emphasis words that you want to stand out by putting them in bold type.

Your feelings come out loud and clear. Just a wee bit tweeking it will be a great piece. I'm not your mother am I?? :)

[Silere]

OMG girl.. You write with such emotion and passion. It's sad..but at the same time.. I feel so much strength within you from these words. Everyone thinks.. that everything will be fine in the end.. but when you say Everything will fall in2 place.. I really believe this.. You are a very strong person inside... and you'll make this happen! Keep writing from your heart..staying true to yourself. Thank you for sharing!

[aaaa]

nice job :)

[SetApartGirl]

Been there. Done that. It seems like mothers can sometimes be so dense to our true feelings. But all we can really do is calm ourselves down and look for all the reasons to love them. Forgive them. Bless them. This is a very good piece though. Good work!

[Kristen]

Love the first line of this especially, overall nice job!

- S.T.