Lethal Attraction

Lethal Attraction

A Story by RIO

 

 Lethal Attraction

 

The silver moon cast long, sinister shadows as she paced, heels clicking loudly on the pavement, announcing her presence. Her tight black outfit shielded her against the ferocious winds that caused the trees outside to rustle relentlessly. Only her pale, bloodless cheeks remained unprotected from the biting cold. As she walked, her katana sword swayed gently by her side, waiting patiently in its sheath. Her most efficient shield, although she doubted she would need it tonight.

 

Master Shin had forbbiden her from coming here, citing ‘inexperience’ as his reason. Lilith smirked as she pictured the look of glee he would have on his face when she brought him the thing he’d spent half a lifetime seeking. Her smile widened in anticipation as she approached the two hefty pillars that framed the courtyard and stopped the ancient ceiling from falling in on itself. She, too, had unfinished business.

 

She sensed before she saw them; a life skill she’d learnt from Master Shin- master your surroundings and search for any unwanted presence. There were two hiding behind each of the pillars. A whisper of a footstep behind her. She came to a standstill, spinning elegantly to face her opponent- a thin figure dressed in black, a tight mask concealing his features with only slits for eyes, sizing her up, watching her every move. He swung a roundhouse punch. She bent backwards and felt his knuckles swish past her nose. Regaining her balance, Lilith lashed out, her fists connecting with his jaw with a loud crunch.  He staggered backwards blindly, then fell to the ground in a heap.

Lilith whirled round as two more approached, running. She lifted her right foot and aimed a fierce kick at the first guy’s crotch. He doubled over in pain, a loud “oomph” escaping his lips. She kicked out again, this time at his chin. His voice tore out of his chest as he screamed in pain and like his friend, dropped to the ground, unconscious.

A flash of silver to her left. She threw herself backwards. A knife slammed into the pillar where her head had been moments ago. The culprit just stood there, making no attempt to move towards her. Lilith could sense his fear, he’d seen what she’d done to his friends. Nevertheless, he started towards her, swinging a punch. She grabbed his forearm, turned into him and thrust her elbow at his throat. His breath was forced out of him in a whoosh before she flung him hard into the pillar. Let him suffer the same fate as his damned knife!

 

Lilith hurried on, sure that the noise must have alerted more people to her presence. She turned into a dimly lit corridor, starting for the oak door at the end. Surely, what she was seeking was there.

She stopped, startled. There was someone around. She could feel them. Their aura was like no other; like a dark cloud that threatened to swallow her. Her pale pink lips parted in awe as she stared at the inhumane creature that stood at the end of the corridor. She blinked, not quite believing her eyes. The creature was perfectly pale and the bright moonlight illuminated the green veins on its bald head.

 

Blood-drinker, Lilith immediately thought, uncertainly.

“Vampire,” she uttered as the creature drew back its lips in a smile, revealing dreadful teeth that resembled that of a wild animal. Fangs-   curved and sharp and ready to feed.

Weren’t vampires just a myth? She thought as her heart-beat quickened and her feet began acting of their own accord, moving backwards. A story created merely to scare the toughest of warriors? But here one stood. Deadly and dangerous and…incredibly ugly.

No way were her fists going to survive an encounter such as this. Nevertheless, she kept her eyes trained her newest opponent, the way Master Shin had always taught her. Look them in the eyes for the eyes never lie. Although, she doubted he ever intended she’d be looking into the blood-red eyes of a vampire during those lessons.

She inhaled sharply as memories of the ancient vampire stories came flooding back to her. There was one: vampires with eyes as red as the richest strawberry, who were considerably weaker than other kinds of vampires and fallible with…steel or iron! What were they called? Aha! “Araminthe vampires,” she whispered breathlessly. Her right hand flew to the katana sword at her hip which gave a metallic whisper as she pulled it out of its sheath.

The sword glinted in the moonlight and Lilith thought she caught a flash of fear cross the vampire’s face as she brandished her weapon. With a sudden burst of courage, she ran towards the deadly predator, swinging her sword. She blinked as her sword caught thin air, her intended victim nowhere to be seen.

She spun round on her heels, her movement light and controlled. There it was. Great, it had unnatural speed too. The creature stalked towards her, a strange, gliding movement. Lilith held its gaze, the sword firmly in her grip.

Her vision blurred. Ice cold fingers grabbed her arms, over-powering her. Her beloved sword hit the ground with a loud clink, making her heart sink. She could feel hot, misty breath on her cheek; sharp nails digging into her skin.

“Dinner…” a crackly voice snarled as its jaw parted widely, revealing gleaming white fangs. Lilith struggled to no avail, cursing herself for thinking she could fight a vampire. Master Shin was right, wasn’t he always.

The fangs were extremely close to breaking her smooth skin. Then, a shudder and a loud yelp. The creature staggered back, eyes widened in surprise.

Lilith frowned; not quite what she’d been expecting. A soft gasp escaped her lips as she felt a sharp pain at the back of her head. She turned around weakly to face her newest attacker. A fleeting look of recognition passed her face before instant darkness clouded her vision, dragging her into the very depths of the murky waters below...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2010 RIO


Author's Note

RIO
Another short story, this one to be continued. Please tell me what you think and for all 'fight scene' experts, how was my description? I'm experimenting and this is the first story I've ever written that contains any kind of fighting so I'm eager to know what you guys think...
To be continued, like I said before.
=D
x

*Update*: The next part is up now! It called Lethal Attraction(cont'd), please read.
Thanks!
x

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Featured Review

Thoughts (in order as reading)
I think in the first sentence when you say "her heels were clonking" you should say clicking (or another word of choice) clonking just sounds... strange.

NINJAS!!! :D

Nice fighting action but when she kicked the second guy in the face I'm not sure he would scream before passing out (but I'm not educated in fighting so maybe he would :/ )

"A flash of silver to her left. She threw herself backwards. A knife slammed into the pillar where her head had been moments ago" Maybe change to "had been just milliseconds ago.” Seems a little more dramatic.

“Inexperienced” ? Really? I'd hate to see their idea of experienced....

“...at her hip which gave a metallic whisper as she pulled it out of its sheath. The sword glint in the moonlight” Should be glinted

Overall I thought this was really good! Didn't find any grammatical or spelling errors :) This kind of seems like a semi-new take on vamps too, with the green veins. And I really want to know more about Lilith (its a vampire name so I automatically thought she was a vamp, but now I don't know.) I really want to know more about her and what happens, I want to know more about Master Shin too; was that vamp his enemy? Was he the one Lilith saw at the end of the story?
Very good, really want to know these things now!

Posted 14 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like it again, like I the last one but I don't get what time period this is set in. Other than that its a good story and I look forward to reading more soon.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Its good the fighting scenes were just perfect in my opinion.... I loved it.... it drew me in from the begining

Posted 14 Years Ago


This usually isn't something I would normally find interest in, but this is very good! I was definitely drawn in. When I got to the end, I was ready to read more. Great write!



Posted 14 Years Ago


It was off the chain and so happy to hear that its going to be continue, it would be terrible if you ended this way and just work on a few grammer thats all.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Its really entertaining to read other people's views on vampires. XD
good job. I like the detail and the description in it. If you were to make it a little longer, I'd suggest to provide the description of the character a little at a time.
but, since it isn't, good job!
great cliff-hanger, though I'd probably expect another short story to follow it, or it'd drive me nuts wondering what'd happen afterwards.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Wow, your great at describing fight scenes, if you wouldn't have said that you were a beginer at fight scenes i would have thought you were an pro! you sure do write like one! i was just envying the way you described the whole thing! wish i could write like that. i look forward to reading what happens next, i want to know who she recognized before she passed out or did she die? aaah!! what happen?? lol write more please!

Posted 14 Years Ago


Wow, you drag the reader in imedeatly.
Honestly, it was great and im not going to pick out anything wrong becasue thats how i would have written this.(but that being said; i still need work, so you might too)
This character of yours is interesting, you seem foreshadow that she isnt human.
But im not entirely sure. I'd love to see more of this, and i would keep up with it.
Wonderfull write-
Harmony

Posted 14 Years Ago


Thoughts (in order as reading)
I think in the first sentence when you say "her heels were clonking" you should say clicking (or another word of choice) clonking just sounds... strange.

NINJAS!!! :D

Nice fighting action but when she kicked the second guy in the face I'm not sure he would scream before passing out (but I'm not educated in fighting so maybe he would :/ )

"A flash of silver to her left. She threw herself backwards. A knife slammed into the pillar where her head had been moments ago" Maybe change to "had been just milliseconds ago.” Seems a little more dramatic.

“Inexperienced” ? Really? I'd hate to see their idea of experienced....

“...at her hip which gave a metallic whisper as she pulled it out of its sheath. The sword glint in the moonlight” Should be glinted

Overall I thought this was really good! Didn't find any grammatical or spelling errors :) This kind of seems like a semi-new take on vamps too, with the green veins. And I really want to know more about Lilith (its a vampire name so I automatically thought she was a vamp, but now I don't know.) I really want to know more about her and what happens, I want to know more about Master Shin too; was that vamp his enemy? Was he the one Lilith saw at the end of the story?
Very good, really want to know these things now!

Posted 14 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.


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1401 Views
38 Reviews
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Shelved in 6 Libraries
Added on October 16, 2010
Last Updated on November 22, 2010
Tags: lilith, daryl, lethal, attraction, fight, sword, vampire, orb

Author

RIO
RIO

Abuja, FCT, Nigeria



About
I like to read and write. Now try saying that to someone when they ask what you do for 'fun' :p more..

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