The Good Choice

Doing the right thing isn't always easy and it can get lonely. There is no solution other than to move foward.

When you are the good child... the good adult... it's easy to be overlooked or misunderstood. Everyone assumes that everything is all right, after all, things are so easy because you did everything right. Followed all the rules, took every opportunity to be the best... to do the best. No one tells you how lonely ... how isolating...  how overwhelming  it can be. It's hard to put into words, I mean how can you be in a room surrounded by people but no one knows how hollow you really are... how empty you are inside.  To be nothing more than the accomplishments under your belt, or simply to be the easy going one able to camouflage any where, any place, any time. 

It's all seems meaningless in the end, how easy it is for people to forget that you are a person with real problems because there are always people doing worse than you, struggling more than you, maybe not making the "right" choices like you did. The words of comfort fall death on ears because how many times do you hear "it will all be worth it in the end", well I'm at the end and I see no reward.

To not cause problems, they may laugh or smile, be the one that everyone wants to be around, the one that everyone is proud of... because after all, you are the Good one. You have heard every explanation as to why it's great to be who you are.

 So you learn to be accommodating because it's easier to pretend, to be unbothered, than to waste what little breathe you have trying to prove that these feelings you have are valid. As the adult that is doing everything right you simply don't have enough energy other than to find a reason to keep yourself alive. So instead of crying to someone you laugh, instead of staying in bed you execute and achieve. Your'e holding your breath because the moment you exhale, it will all come crashing down and it's harder to put together shattered pieces than slightly broken ones. 

You were given all the tools to excel and found comfort in the isolation at first because it meant that people left you alone. It made it easy for people to ignore you, because everyone is caught up in their own lives and criticism was scary. As long as there was a goal, and some results it was easy to get away with other things.

It was easy to lie, it was easy to fake it.

To say that you are okay.

But along the way you loose sight of what is happening and then time passes and suddenly you don't know what you are doing anymore.

Your'e free falling and no one is there to catch you.

You have no one because the same hands that were so quick to praise you keep you at a distance.

As if you have some contagious disease where the end result is death.

So you try to live recklessly, live in the moment

but you can't.

You don't know how. 

 you have already been branded.

You are the Good kid.

The Good adult.

It's too late to live the rebellious phase.

What is the point of doing everything right if in the end you feel trapped.

Sure the right choice may be subjective,

Different for everyone,

But for those who feel that they are the Good child...

The Good adult...

The one who has done everything to secure a good future...

The one who didn't want to cause trouble...

Or to simply hide away from something much more dangerous.

Live in a prison, unable to find the key to set themselves free.

Self Imprisoned it feels for eternity.

They don't want empty words.

They don't want to be guided to the light.

They don't want to be saved.

They simply don't want to be marked anymore,

as the Good one.