Johnny Narco

Day after day
I watch the picture take form
Its colors are muted
And far from the norm
I gaze upon various
Proportions so wide
Fixated upon
Their erroneous side

I notice not much
Of the chaos unfolding
Always adept
In excuses I’m holding
Offering up
Each one in tandem
Holding my loved ones
At bay in this random
Act of ritual
Heck, Call it habitual
I know it’s the truth
Just look at the scene
Right here as proof

All the facts one could need!

I watch as my eggshell
Disintegrates further
Never quite willing
To say so, I’m sure
But rather I bury
All weapons we used
To heap upon misery
In a life so abused
I watch as I bury
The evidence gone
Wishing and wishing
This wouldn’t go on

I watch as my picture
Grows grayer in time
Shadows abundant
Amongst the dark shine
Lacking of color
Lacking of hope
I watch as the life inside
tries to cope
With its existence
With  all the loss 
its former glory
Gone out in a toss

And that is my story
And here is the reason
The reason I lie to avoid
pain's harvest season
I try to break free
From the hurt inside me
I try to unveil
What’s causing
This hell
But only to find
At the end of the line
Loneliness
Sorrow
And hate for my crimes

Apathy
Ignorance
Time upon times

Chance after chance
And rhyme after rhyme

Whenever it ends
Surely I’ll dance
With the message it sends
Every chance
All over his grave
All over his ashes
then time will fly
as time passes

As the picture
 in my life becomes real
my fragile eggshell
Has naught left to feel
Splintered and shattered
The brokenness of it
anger surround me
When he pushed and he shoved it

“Proofings” and evidence
Of the trauma unfolding
The rage of a narcissist
Johnny Narco upholding
His values
His morals
His ever-last prize
Of his selfishness ego
In the largest of size

And now he is gone
Now I am free
Goodbye Johnny Narco
You’ve finished me.