1.) In the Beginning

I sit staring off into space with my headphones securely on my head.  I don’t like to draw a lot of attention to myself so I’m sitting up against a wall in the corner of the court yard. My next class isn’t for another 20 minutes.  I close my eyes as my music blares unforgiving into my temple.  I can feel the sun kissing my shoulder, sweat begins to trickle. Ugh, how embarrassing. I’ve always had a problem with sweat.  I throw on a jacket to absorb my embarrassment.

I check my phone and sure enough it’s time to get to class. I walk slowly; my mind digests the last of the song playing on my I-pod.  I slip into the open door of room 314, Astronomy 101. I find a secluded seat in the back of the room.  I have a problem with social anxiety, if you couldn’t already tell.  I watch the two girls in front of me chit chat about some guy called Dean. 

It’s funny really, how I am in college now and yet I feel no older than when I was five and entering my first day of kindergarten.  I unzip my backpack stuffed full of textbooks and search for my Astronomy book.  My I-pod is still blasting in my ear as I realize the teacher is now taking attendance.  I quickly pull my earphones out of my ears in time to hear my name, “Julia Moore?”

I raise my hand as five faces turn around to put a face to the name.  My eyes quickly drop, but the teacher has already started calling the next name and the five faces have moved on to their next victim, Victor Fletchshkey.

The teacher, who introduces herself as Bobbi, wraps up the attendance and jumps straight into Chapter 1.  The lecture is short and at the end of the class she has us write a quick essay on a question about the positions of the stars.  The answer to the question is clearly common sense, but I hear a couple moans from the class as they read the question on the board over and over trying to make sense of it.

One guy gets up and asks if the question is going to be graded, because he can’t seem to come up with the answer. The teacher tells him to just try and he looks at her as if she asked him to move a mountain. I can’t help but smile. This is community college after all, what was I expecting?

I turn in my answer to the essay question and leave the struggling students behind.  Normally, I hate the sun, but in this instance I’m eternally grateful for the warmth that crawls onto my skin as I walk to my next class.

Psychology is next and I only have a 10 minute time gap between the two classes so I make straight for classroom 124. I enter the room, hoping to go unnoticed, but it’s already full of eager faces. I gulp as I try to find an empty seat.  I only see one, but it’s clear on the other side of the room.  I internally sigh as I make my way through rows of students to grab the empty chair.

The person next to the empty seat looks up at me as if I’m unwelcome. I’m not so sure what to think at his reaction of me so I politely ask if anybody is sitting in the empty desk, he shrugs and looks away.

I sit down mortified.  My first instinct is to dart out of the classroom, but I know I am only being foolish. I shouldn’t even take note of the people in this room; I’m here to learn that’s all.

I take out my notebook to take notes and glance up at the white board to write down the chapter we’ll be discussing today.  I’m right dab in the middle of the classroom and I feel like a million eyes are pinned to me, but when I look around everyone is staring intently into the eyes of Mr. Kessler.

I let go a sigh of relief and begin to relax.  I take careful, organized notes of the lecture, as Mr. Kessler announces our homework I look up for the first time.  I see a pair of eyes to my right staring right at me.  I tell myself it’s just my imagination, don’t be so absurd.  Mr. Kessler is telling us where to find the questions we are to answer for our homework, but I’m not fully paying attention anymore, because I can still feel those eyes boring into the side of skull. I peek over finally, exasperated at myself for thinking its anything at all, but gasp as I realize it wasn’t just my imagination.

His hair is deep brown, but his eyes are a vibrant blue. I try to look away, but I can’t help it. He’s looking right at me and I’m stuck.  I try to look away slowly, but my head jerks fast and I know he’s noticed I saw him.  I curse myself for being so awkward and bolt out of the room the instant Mr. Kessler dismisses our class.

I can see the stranger picking up his bag, as I do.  He’s about two people back now as I exit out of the classroom and into the hallway.  I exit the building and make way for my car.  I turn around and sure enough nobody is following. I am feeling really quite silly now. I’m sure he was just looking at the clock or something. I must be pretty egotistical to think he was staring at me and following me.

I chuckle to myself as I unlock the door to my old beat up car. I throw my backpack in the backseat and start my car.  My radio is on full blast, I turn it down a notch, just until I’m on the freeway again, then I’ll crank it right back up.

Helena starts playing on the radio and I can’t help myself. I turn up the radio again as I exit onto the freeway.  My fiery hair is now whipping around violently and I’m singing my heart out to Helena.  I may have a sort of social anxiety, but when I’m comfortable, I’m probably the loudest person you’ll find.

I’m singing/yelling with my radio when I pull up to a stoplight. I check my rearview mirror as I move my head slightly to the guitar solo. I stop moving completely. My eyes are frozen in the rearview mirror as those same piercing blue eyes stare out of the car from behind me.  Finally, I snap back into reality, realizing that the light has been green for a minute already.

I shake my head at myself.  I can’t believe myself. This freeway is the only way back into the suburbs where everyone lives, why wouldn’t he be coming this way too?

I crank up the radio again and drown out my delirious thoughts.  I make it a game to not look into my rearview mirror anymore.  I walked into the house sleepily.  I had worked all morning and gone to school all afternoon.  Josh wouldn’t be home for another couple of hours.  I took a cold shower and changed into my pajamas, even though it was only 4pm.  I lounged around the house, lazily moving from the T.V. to the computer. I checked my e-mails. Nothing new there, just a couple e-mails from my dad. I hardly talk to him now that mom is gone.  He sends me e-mails all the time, acting like he cares about how I am, but I see right through his bullshit and usually just delete them without replying.

I hear Josh’s car in the driveway and I plump back unto the couch. 

“Sup Jules?” He says as he walks in the door heading straight for the fridge.

“Meh, nothing new.” He nods as he pops open a beer.

“How was work?”

He rolled his eyes at my question, but answered anyways. “Same ole’ s**t, moving lumber, getting yelled at by Sam.”   I sighed. His friend Sam just recently got promoted to an overseer. Ever since Sam’s promotion he’s like a different person. He doesn’t come over to hang out anymore and he yells at Josh constantly, telling Josh he better work harder or he’ll get cut.

“I’m sorry hun.”

“It’s cool.” He drops down on the couch next to me and stares lifelessly at the reality show I have on the T.V.

I moved in with Josh last year when my mom died.  We’ve been friends since we were in kindergarten. Josh has only recently been making known his feelings for me.  I kind of always thought they might be there, but it wasn’t until this past year when he actually asked me out did I have confirmation.

I told him I thought it’d be better to remain friends for now that we live together and if something blooms later on, so be it.  I’ve always liked Josh and I really don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t be with him…I’m just scared. What me and Josh have is really special, I don’t want to ruin our relationship like I have with so many of my other guy friends.

We both sit like zombies on the couch for another hour until finally I break away, I have work at 5am tomorrow and if I stay up too late I’ll sleep through my alarm. Josh kisses me delicately on my forehead, this is the way he tells me goodnight.

I sluggishly make my way upstairs and by the time my body crashes into my bed I’m already asleep.

 

The next couple of weeks went by much the same way as the first. I went to work five days a week early each morning and attended class during the afternoon.  I worked on homework during the week nights and hung out with Josh during the weekends.

We barely got to see each other anymore. I have to admit it was a nice break. I don’t have to worry about stepping on his feelings if he’s hardly around.

It was half way through the semester now and I was sitting in my Psychology class. I had learned by now to ignore the handsome man and concentrate on taking detailed notes.

 

“Alright class, I want you to group up in pairs of four,” Mr. Kessler announces. Everyone by now is best friends and before I can even scan the class I see that almost everyone already has their group of four. Everyone’s faces are lit up, excited to work with their friends. My face however, is far from excited.

 

I unwillingly locate the four other people who have not already jumped into a group. There’s a girl in the front far left of the classroom who hasn’t moved, the guy next to me who obviously doesn’t care about grades since he's sleeping.  And lastly, the handsome man, I tried not to look surprised, but our eyes connected and he started walking over towards me.

 

I try my very best not to breath too hard as my heart flails wildly around in my chest.

“Hello there,” he paused, “I’m Jude.”

“Julia,” I fumbled, pointing awkwardly at myself.

He nods and I look away to the girl in the far left who is now looking over at me and Jude.

 

“You don’t have a group yet, do you?”

I shake my head no.

“Good neither do I,” he sat down next to me uninvited.

That’s that than, we’re partnered. I now have to face what I’ve been avoiding this whole semester, Jude.

 

Jude poked the kid snoring next to me. The guy wakes up, startled. You can tell by the look on his face he’s not exactly sure where he is.

“Sorry to wake you, but we’re supposed to group up into fours, want to join our group?”

The guy looks around the class before nodding.

“Hello?”  I hear a tiny voice approaching us. Nervously, I get asked by the girl from the corner if she can join our group. I nod and smile. Timidly, she smiles back.

 

The teacher has us face our chairs towards each other. Jude is now directly across from me.

We’re so close our knees almost touch. I try hard to focus on the directions the teacher is giving, but really I’m concentrating on not running out the door.

 

“Look around at these three people sitting next to you. This is a time for you guys to get to know one another and you better because for the rest of this semester this is your group. The project you and your group will work on counts for a whopping 40% of your grade, so get to work!”

 

 

I’m gritting my teeth right now and staring hard at the blank paper in front of me.

“How am I going to rely on these people and group up with them for the rest of the semester?”

Betsy, the girl next to me, starts introducing herself.  She states her name and major and then says something about cross stitching which I don’t pick up.  I smile politely at Betsy; my stomach is now twisting in knots only boy scouts know how to make.  Luckily, somebody picks up the silence and my turn still hangs in the air.

“My name is Jude and I’m not really sure what I’ll be majoring yet…”he smiles again. Why won’t he stop smiling? It’s quite annoying if you ask me. 

The guy next to me is already sleeping again so I inevitably introduce myself and state my major, English. Jude’s eyebrows rise in surprise and Betsy seems uninterested in anything I have to say, but is rather staring intently at Jude’s face.

____*____

 

I sat down in my usual seat, but this time instead of Mr. Shrugs, Jude sat next to me.

I looked over at him casually and said, “Hi.” I decided if I was going to have to work with this person all semester I was going to completely look past his Hollywood looks and haunting eyes.

My strategy is to pretend, to the best of my ability, that he was Fred, the other guy in our four man group.

 

The teacher wasn’t in the classroom yet, but the room was already filled with students.  Everyone was talking to the people in their groups excitedly. Jude broke the silence first.

“So English, huh, you going to be a teacher?”

 

I look at him and roll my eyes, why is it that everyone’s first reaction to English majors is “TEACHER ALERT.”

 

“No, I would hate being a teacher.”

 

“I see,” I could tell he was waiting for me to elaborate on my statement, so hell, I did.

 

“I want to be a writer. A, um, book writer.”

 

Jude looks interested now and is leaning towards me, “Awesome, what kind of books will you right?”

 

I instantly liked him; he was the first person not to criticize me for putting the bar too high. Instead of saying “Writing is a really hard field to get into” he acted as though there was no doubt in his mind that I would be a writer.

 

I tried hard not to blush as I explained that I want to write fiction books.

 

Class went by with no new events.  Mr. Kessler talked about how to effectively work in groups and the first stages of our projects.  As I was exiting the classroom I noticed Jude closely behind me. I focused all my energy on walking, trying so hard not to trip over my own feet.

 

“Hey Julia?” I hear from behind me and tense up.  I turn my head slightly to look at the voice who was addressing me.

 

“Oh, hey Jude,” I said in a cool manner, like I didn’t notice he had been following me for a little while now.

 

“Would it be cool if I could get your number?”

 

All my focused concentration on walking went out the window when Jude spoke my name. I ran straight into a pillar.

 

“Ow,” I whined as I looked up to find Jude smiling sheepishly.

 

“You could have told me that was there,” I said sternly.

 

Jude just grinned bigger, “Sorry.”

 

I shot him an irritated look. At this point irritation wasn’t the emotion setting into my bones. No, the feelings that now overwhelmed would be embarrassment and fear.

I just made a total fool out of myself! That’s not me at all, great first impression Julia. Ugh, now he’ll never go out with me. I mentally paused at the last thought. I shook my head fiercely, mortified that I had even thought he would want to go out with me.

 

He was only asking for my number because Mr. Kessler said it would be a good idea to get our groups numbers seeing as we’d have to work on our projects mostly on our own time.

 

I turned towards Jude again, this time I stopped walking and just looked at him numbly.

“My number is 453-8765.”

“Thanks,” he said casually. “And hey, sorry about the um, he glanced back at the pillar that had been victim to my foolishness.”

 

“Ha, it’s fine really,” I said as I rubbed my head unconsciously.

“Alright then,” Jude paused. I wasn’t exactly sure what he was waiting for, but in that moment he held my gaze and I felt as if it were just me and him in that room.  But as quickly as that moment came it also passed.

“See you Friday Julia,” Jude said quickly and turned hurriedly and was gone.

I just continued standing there, I felt a little empty now as I watched him just walk away as if nothing happened. In fact he was walking fast, as if he couldn’t have wanted to get away from me faster. Someone bumped into me apologizing profusely, it wasn’t until then did I realize the main hall was bustling with students. I turned hesitantly and went home.

 

*

 

     Ring Ringggg Ringggggg, the alarm grew louder as I entered reality. My brain was still foggy with dreams as I grabbed my work clothes and put on makeup.  It was barely 4am, but I was running late. I grabbed my purse and quickly headed out for my car.

 

      It was a slow day in the coffee shop. I sent Cat home early.

I was sweeping the lobby when he walked in. I didn’t notice him until he was standing right in front of me.  I jumped back when he said my name acting as if I had just had a heart attack.

 

Ugh, why do I always act so weird around this kid?  “Hi Jude.”

 

“I didn’t realize you worked here!” He said as if he had known it would have made all the difference.

 

I raised an eyebrow, “Yup, I’m a barista, fun stuff.” I tried to act nonchalantly to redeem myself.

 

He actually laughed.  I gave him a look of distaste.  I turned to go back into the back, but his hand grabbed my shoulder gently.  “No don’t, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...” he stuttered.

                “It’s just a nice surprise that’s all,” he said trying to grab my glance, he did. I was swimming in those eyes once more; he looked at me as if he were longing for something. I knew I was making half of it up in my head, but it was such a wonderful moment I didn’t think until later how ridiculous I must have seemed falling apart into his eyes like that.

Melanie cut through our moment with a sharp knife, “Hey, Jules! You going to stand there and stare into his eyes all day or are you going to help make some of these drinks!”

I looked up mortified at my co-worker. She was right thought, I hadn’t even noticed the shop was packed with people now, some of which were looking at me impatiently.

“I’m coming,” I managed to choke out. It was okay if I realized how idiotic I was looking, but for everyone to watch as well?  I wanted to hide under a rock and never come out.

I threw the broom to the side and started making drinks. Jude never moved. He just watched me make drinks, as he stood next to the newspaper stand pretending to look at it every time I looked up. I caught his gaze a couple times though, that’s when I’d spill a pitcher of steaming milk on the ground or gribble over the mats.

For the first time, I didn’t mind. I was so hazy from that moment, I was flying high emotionally.

By the time our rush was over it was almost 12pm and Jude was now standing in line. He ordered a medium toffee nut latte. As I made his drink, he stood close by.  “What time do you get off today?”

I looked up at him. “Um, now actually, after I make this drink.”

He grinned, “Great, you want to grab some lunch or something?”

“Sure,” I accepted a little too quickly.

I handed him his drink and tried not to smile too much. Melanie must have overheard his proposal because she kicked me out of that store without even thinking. I walked with Jude out to my car, embarrassed to claim the piece of junk I drove.

I threw my apron inside my car and held the door open look at him in limbo land. “I’ll drive if you want or we can meet there. Whatever you’re more comfortable with.”

I swallowed hard, “Um, you’ll drive?”

“Ya,” he pointed at the black Ferrari in the parking lot and I started laughing.

He just stared, confused. I finally pointed out, “Not the Ferrari right? That’s not yours.” It wasn’t a question.

“Um, yes it IS mine?”

I stopped laughing, “Seriously?”

“Very, want to see?”

“Hell ya.”

“Ha, alright then let’s go,” he reached out to put his arm over my shoulder as we walked to his Ferrari.

I might have been totally in shock after all the events of today, but his arm around me shoulder was something I couldn’t just ignore.  A rush of emotions washed over me as we walked to his car. I started getting really nervous.  I looked up at his face which was quite far away from mine, he was good into six feet and I only reached five-six.

Sure enough his keys unlocked the door to the beautiful, black glossy Ferrari. He held the door open for me as I slid into the cool leather. This was too much for me to handle, hot and rich?

He even seemed a little witty. I knew now that brains must be completely non-existent in that head of his. There is no way a human being could be decked out in all areas of life. I started to think about that fact and resign from him. I didn’t want someone dumb. That’s not the type of person I am.  Hair and money, who cares really? If I wanted those things I’d be dating Josh.

I wanted someone who cared about me and could hold a conversation with me. Poor Jude, by the time he opened his door and slipped into the car I had fallen completely out of “like” with him.

“So what do you think?” He smiled sheepishly.

“Its fine,” I looked out the window.

“Mmk,” he said a little confused.  “Where would you like to go?”

At first I wasn’t going to answer and just suggest he pick, but I knew he would probably pick some fancy place to eat.  So I spoke up, “Ya, Taco Bell.”

He looked at me surprised, “Taco Bell?”

“Ya, is that cool?”

“Ha, very cool, I love Taco Bell!”  And before I knew it we were parking in the Taco Bell parking lot. Jude rushing out to open my door again, I made sure I opened it before he could.

We went inside and ordered. Believe it or not Taco Bell was actually one of my favorites too. I ordered the Taco Salad, Jude insisted on paying and I looked at him frustrated. I could take care of myself.  I slide into a booth on the far corner of the restaurant.

Jude hardly took his eyes off of me while we ate. I didn’t eat as much as I would have liked. I finally broke the silence. “Is there something on my face?” I actually asked, concerned. He was looking at my face so much, I wasn’t really sure anymore.

“Nope,” He smiled.

“Oh.” I looked away.

“Sorry am I making you uncomfortable?”

I lied, “Nope.” I bore my eyes right into his.

He laughed. “Ready?”

I looked down at my half eaten salad and said yes. When we got into the parking stall next to my s**t beater, he turned off the car and turned towards me. My hand was already on the door handle, anxious to leave.

“Would you like to go with me to a movie tomorrow?”

I stared. He really wanted to try again? After that awkward lunch, is he crazy?

I couldn’t say no though. As badly as I wanted to believe he was just some jock with good hair, somewhere deep inside me I was hoping he wasn’t.

“Um, what time?”

“I’ll pick you up at six, is that a good time?”

I nodded and opened my door, unable to choke out another word.

Class the next day was impossible. Jude sat closer than ever before; concentrating on Mr. Kessler was just a joke. Finally, after what seemed like hours, class was done.

“We’re still on right?” Jude asked.

I could see Betsy looking over at us enviously. She clearly had a crush on Jude.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?”

“Just wanted to make sure you didn’t change your mind.” He winked and I could have died.

Betsy stormed out of the room like a two year old throwing a tantrum. Jude looked from Betsy storming to me. “She got a problem?”

I started laughing. Jude walked me to my car his arm wrapped around my shoulder again. I opened the door to my car and threw my backpack into the back seat. I wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, but Jude was still standing there holding my door open.  I stood between the door and his arm, trapped.

His eyes searched mine as we stood almost chest to chest. My heart was pounding so hard I thought for sure he was going to start laughing at me at any second. He didn’t laugh.  He slowly lowered his right hand to my waist and pulled me closer to him. I was breathing hard now; I couldn’t hide it even if I tried.

He leaned in slowly giving me time to pull away from him if I wanted to. Respectable, but I didn’t move away, in fact I leaned in too.  Our lips touched slowly and then drew apart. We looked up at each other, both of us looking for reassurance that this move was okay.

He kissed me again. He paused for a moment afterwards to look into my eyes before withdrawing. “See you tonight,” he smiled intoxicatingly to me.  I didn’t even say anything back, I just watched him walk away in shock.

Before getting into my car I noticed something on the ground. I bent down to pick it up.  A black feather, it looked nothing like I’d ever seen before, but it was beautiful. I put it on my dashboard and rushed home to get ready.

 

 

Author's Note

Ignore the weird line, I tried to delete it, but its being weird.
Other then that all feedback is welcome. This is just something I'm writing for fun for now, I haven't even re-read it yet and edited so I'm sure there are a lot of problem areas.

Reviews

Hooked already, you have a good story and compelling characters.
Let me know when you put up the next chapters.
-ST