Chaos of Humanity

this doesn't fully get out my true feelings on this, i am confused as my stance on money, but this is written for the MONEY contest. feel free to critique and what you will =]

The stark reality of greed

and poverty, aligned;

the stricken catching glimpses

of a sought-after world,

and the rich, the masters,

play their games with souls.

Corruption and devastation,

life and death combined;

the chaos of humanity

is revealed by greed.

The divide, a man made one,

worth fighting for?

The desire for money and riches

turns even the purest

evil.

 

Reviews

[Mauricio Montoya]

This is a very insightful piece yes greed causes a lot of our problems in the world. Great job.

[Coyote Poetry]

Your words are true. Rich people control the world. Oil allow the powerful countries to create ghost and fear to feed war contractor and big business more money. Last year the USA paid 647 billions to war contractor. It is very sad. Your poem is short and to the point. I agree with your words 100 per cent. A outstanding poem.
Coyote
Coyote

[nono]

Yup life sucks don't it? I mean it has it's moments, benefits, smiles, laughs, and such...But with political crap it just kills the whole "Freedom" thing...Anyway this is a really nice poem fantastic! It explains a lot! Awesome!

[Devons]

I have the greatest respect for the sentiment of this poem. Greed is indeed at the root of much that is wrong with the world and humanity. It is arguable that without this vice then Man would live a far more peaceful and wise existence, but it seems that the flaw is inherent in far too many for it ever to work. Greed makes the rich man and keeps the poor man poor.
"the stricken catching glimpses
of a sought-after world,"
...And the poor, stricken man dreams of the riches which he envies of the wealthy and better-off. Love makes the world go round, and money is spinning it - even love; the two often inspired by one another.
"The divide, a man made one,
worth fighting for?"
As long as there is a divide, people will always think it worth fighting for.
I apologise for not having reviewed this before - too many contests, too many entries to keep up with. This was one of the better entries, a close 4th.
"The desire for money and riches
turns even the purest
evil."
Even purity has a price...Indeed, greed is universal and somehow inevitable, but it is always important for us as human beings to be reminded of how, and the dangers therein.
Wise words, very good piece of writing.

[Octob3r Star]

I find it sad that folk have to critique art. Maybe you were busy when you had to type this on writerscafe.org. I DO THAT ALL THE TIME. Doesn't make me less intelligent. Just means I don't have all the f****n' time in the world to focus all my attention on editing my s**t. Thats why I pay an editor.

Sweety, your s***s awesome. If folks really wanna "help" or become "constructive" they'd send a message. Not one point in this view-point asked for opinion.

ART IS NON-SUBJECTIVE

[Tanya7]

i love this poem! the truth is clearly apparent and the wording you chose fits perfectly. it would probable help if u switch around some commas so the flow would be more smooth. great job

[Michael X]

wow jeweliet, I liked this, besides the over emphasis on punctuation and
the lack of paragraph spacing, you are almost there. the flow is great but the cammas put unatural pauses in the flow. the meaning is quite powerful.
and definitely a worthy read.