Lost in Thoughts

8/8/2016

I lose myself in thought
I try to stop the painful memories as they float by
So many pointless battles I’ve fought
What to show, have I?
Mountains I’ve climbed
Oceans I’ve crossed
Countless nights I’ve lied awake and whined
Despairing over those who I had loved and lost
Inside my chest
A scarred ripped cracked hunk of man still exists
Sometimes I wish I could take a rest
But alas I persist
A moment to breathe
I cannot spare
A life of dedication and reprieve
Sinner by nature
Monster by rite
In the end. I won’t find my rapture
Doomed to watch, to glimpse the light
Though forsaken for tasting
Forbidden from basking
My life I had been wasting
Redemption and forgiveness was all I was asking
A course set in motion
A pawn on a board
Imagine for a moment, if I had been an abortion
If I died before I forsake myself, before I forsake my lord
Then I snap back
I realize I’m sitting around everyone I love and care about
So I force myself back on track
I swallow my pain, and make it seem without a doubt
That I am okay
That’s simply not true
The fact is, I’ll be gone someday
Then when they ask, do you remember him, they will all simply say, remember who?