All day upon my lonely throne Locked away within my empty halls A castle to myself alone In the distance a voice calls It pleads to me Come home, as you are I am what I have to be Down this dark path I have traveled to far Redemption I laugh More like eternal subjection I have incurred the heavens wrath A kingdom of death lies in my wake Ruled by me and no other To much to forsake I want a queen, a mother For my wastelands Turn it into my personal paradise Upon my shoulders a simple pair of hands The words to heal swift as mice It will be alright Still I'm alone, dessicated Yet I make it night after night I fear I am fated To never find the one I wear my suit of steel and iron Until my life is done I scream out and start to run I want to change my destiny I want to be good But for now I am me Cloak dagger and hood Waiting for her She who will save my soul The one my heart was forged for Broken and dessicated, no more is it whole Still to her it belongs And the day will come I'll make up my wrongs And no longer be so humdrum Until then though I sit alone All day upon my lonely throne Walking these halls As in the distance her voice calls
Very precise, clear writing I would say.
Your message is coming across very clearly, unlike many other poems I have read at this site, where it is just a couple of fancy words without a clear meaning. :P
Emotion behind the poem is coming through, but work a bit harder to urge the reader to empathise as well.
That would be masterclass. Keep writing. Cheers
Very precise, clear writing I would say.
Your message is coming across very clearly, unlike many other poems I have read at this site, where it is just a couple of fancy words without a clear meaning. :P
Emotion behind the poem is coming through, but work a bit harder to urge the reader to empathise as well.
That would be masterclass. Keep writing. Cheers
I liked it very much! However I don't feel I have the experience or talent to review your poems. It is captivating, tranquil yet forthright!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
thank you the experience talent comment makes me feel great always been self concious of my writing .. read morethank you the experience talent comment makes me feel great always been self concious of my writing not being good