Stilletos in Every Color: Chapter One

This is my first attempt at comedy:)

"Light 'em up and watch them burn, teach 'em what they need to lear, ha!"

-Miranda Lambert, Kerosene

 

     "I don't like how low-cut that top is, Nina." said Marc, my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend (as if he, of all people, had ANY right to criticize the way other people looked.  That haircut made him look like a penis.).

 

     "Well then don't look at it." I said with abrasive nonchalance.  I could feel how angry that made him, and though I wasn't looking at him, I had a poignant picture of the idiotic grimace he wore on his face at that moment.  I knew he was doing it because he did it everytime I did or said something he did not like (which was extremely often.).  I ignored him at contiued walking at a brisk pace toward our next class.  This next class, Home Ec., was the only class we had together.  However, instead of being upset that we didn't have more classes together like usual, I was upset that I had to see him at all.  Today, I didn't want to hear a single word coming from his mouth. 

 

     "Whatever." he muttered.

 

     Last night we'd had a huge fight because of the inane amount of alchohol he drank, and I planned on breaking up with him this afternoon.  I would have done it last night, but I'd been busy babysitting my five-year-old sister.  'Marc's a big dummie." she declared as he marched out of my front door.  'Couldn't have said it better myself' I told her.  I was upset that she had to see him like that.  Heck, I was upset that I had to see him like that. He really is ugly when he's drunk.  He was just gross, too sum it all up, and speaking to him was unbearable because his breath was residual of alcohol and some unidentifiable odor that would have made the dog slap him in the face had he been able to. 

 

     Today in Home Ec. we were cooking.  As I entered the classroom, I took note of the well-known and affable substitute that lounged lazily in the teacher's chair.  His name was Cal, 'Just Cal.  No 'Mr.' part involved.', in his words.

 

    "Free day today" Cal announced as students shuffled their way through the door.  Most of the class went by quickly, probably due to the fact that Marc was keeping his big fat mouth shut.  That is, until a few minutes before the bell rang.

 

     "You know, I've been thinking." he mused.  'Well its about time' I thought sarcastically.  "You have had a terrible attitude since last night.  That has got to stop."

 

     "You can't be serious." I said, looking at him increduously.

 

     "I'm very serious." He replied in a pompous and particularly annoying tone.

 

     "Incredible." I said, agitation saturating my voice.

 

     "I'm also serious about that top you're wearing."  I then stopped what I was doing and crossed my arms.  Stupidly, he went on, thinking that he was winning.  "I mean look at yourself.  How do you think that makes me feel when you wear stuff like that?  I don't want my girlfriend walking around looking like that!"  'Keep diggin.' I thought to myself. 

 

     "When I asked you out, what were you wearing?  It certainly wasn't anything like that.  You were wearing flannel."  He said smugly, probably giving himself too much credit for remembering what I had been wearing.  However, his memory wasn't as good as he apparently thought it was.

 

     "Marc, this IS the shirt I was wearing when you asked me out.  And its not too low-cut.  In fact, I even wore it to CHAPEL CLUB and got compliments on it."  I said.

 

     "No, your b***s got compliments, not you.  Your b***s look great.  You on the other hand, look like a w***e.  Sometimes, I just want to punch you in the face."  He said with his voice building in its volume.  Consequently, people were beginning to notice our conversation. 

 

     "Stop yelling!" I whispered urgently, "People are looking!"

 

     "Excuse me?  What makes you think you can talk to me like that?"  he said while grabbing the collar of my shirt and pulling me toward him.  Before I could think of a reply that was sarcastic enough for my taste, the bell rang.  I yanked my way out of his grasp and sauntered out into the hall.  As I knew he would, he followed closely behind me.  As I made my way out into the parking lot, I began looking for my friends who I knew would give me a ride home in order to avoid Marc.  However, Marc was still on his previous power trip. 

 

     "I believe I asked you a question."  He said gruffly while grabbing me and forcing me to face him.

 

     "I believe I'm busy right now.  I also believe the answer to your question is pretty obvious.  I have the right to talk to you any way I want to.  Besides, its not as if you have any respect for me."  I retorted.  He began to say something, but I cut him off.  I was really angry now.  "You're rude, controlling and arrogant.  Oh my god are you arrogant!  I swear you could make the pope cuss."  I declared.

 

     "Get in the car.  We have alot to discuss on the way home."  He demanded as if I were a child.  His child, in particular.

 

     "I'm not going anywhere with you.  It is SO over between you and I! It should have been over a long time ago."  I stated.

 

     "That was not a question Nina, therefore it needed no answer.  Particularly not one like that.  I thought I already told about that attitude.  Do you hear me when I talk to you?"  Marc asked, his arrogant tone unwavering.

 

     "Oh, believe me, I hear you.  Everyone hears you.  You yell at me like an idiot!  And anyway, you're the one that doesn't listen.  I said its OVER.  As in done, finished.  You're such a..."

 

     Before I could finish my sentence, he opened his car door and proceeded to shove me into the car.  Incensed, I then did something I had never done to anyone before: I punched him in the face.  Shocked at my own strength, I watched him  stagger while holding his nose.

 

     "What is WRONG with you? Are you freaking crazy? You broke my nose! Are you stupid?"  He yelled in disbelief. 

 

     "Sometimes, I just want to punch you in the face."  I said, quoting his words from less than half an hour ago.  It was then that I looked up to see that my friends that I had been looking for were now leaving the parking lot.

 

     "You made me miss my ride, jerk."  I said angrily as I began to march away from him.  However, something stopped me in my tracks.  I looked at Marc and realized how good it felt to finally tell him exactly what I was thinking.  Feeling a rush of adrenaline pumping through my veins, I decided to get even more specific about how I was feeling.

 

     "And I swear if you ever touch me again, you're gonna go flyin through the air, and you won't land until sometime next week, understand?"  I said in a candid tone, which contained a suprising amount of authority in it. 

 

     I expected some sort of censure from him, but to my suprise, he simply stomped over to the driver's side of the car.  I realized I had won, and I relished that fact.  While in my reverie, I suddenly had an idea.  Just how awesome would it feel if I gave myself enough time to obiterate every single one of Marc's stupid little rules?  What if I gave myself a chance to treat Marc the same way he treated me?  What if I decided to flirt with other guys,strut around in a mini skirt for a while, and did all those little things he just couldn't stand?  It would feel wonderful, I decided.  I smiled wryly to myself as I made my resolve to rectify the way I had been treated by him.  The idea was so much more fun than simply breaking up with him.

 

     I then slid into Marc's car with an entirely new attitude.  I reached into my bag, grabbed my favorite Avril Lavigne CD and put it playing.  As I began to sing, Marc was (of course) annoyed by it.  Therefore, I continued, my volume and resolve increasing with every note:

 

"I'm the one; I'm the one who knows the dance

I'm the one; I'm the one who's got the prance

I'm the one; I'm the one who wears the pants

I wear the pants!"

Reviews

[~Wandering Soul~]

that is amazing
i just want to keep reading....where is the next chapter?? lol
it dragged me into the story in no time at all it let me know a little about the characters and left me craving more
in other words
its the PERFECT start :)
great work
let me know when your next chapter is ready im dying to read it now :) :P

[THERISA]

Heather, your short story has the scary ring of, being too realistic. Especially, your description of Marc and his domineering attitude towards Nina. Don't get me wrong, your writing is strong and forceful, in presentation of the conflict between an abusive boyfriend and his girlfriend. Thank you, for sharing this short story with us.

[deeps]

This is a most amazing rea dhere, I throughly enjoyed this story.
It's very well put together. Like your characters.
Such wonderful imagery and details. Awesome write.

[Vonnie15]

Well written! I'm left curious to read more of your stuff. Please read and comment on some of my stuff if you have time. ;-)

[Matt]

Raw dialogue in a way that is quite real - very nice!

Your use of language in the narrative is sharp, I suspect you have an impressive vocabulary that is stunted (fittingly) a bit by the type of piece you're writing.

[Maleny]

wow. i really like that.
it has so much insight from you, from what i could tell.
it was reallly good.
and i LOVE how the girl has authority over the guy, and how
she can punch him out.
it was great, i want to see more of this soon

[Andrew Tyler McCown]

You have a lot of strong points - "abrasive nonchalance" is one of them - and you did a great job of creating very real dialogue and plot but that is also the biggest downfall for the story. The situation is so real that it is slightly typical and generic. You've got a lot of potential. Keep writing.

[CharlieO]

Great write. Really different and amusing.
I liked this an opening, I really want to read what comes next - keep me informed. I think you have really managed to create attractive (or not so attractive) character which feel real. The setting also felt very real. Congrats on this write.

[Nik Dendera]

Stinging insults a plenty!

Really great characters-after all, whats the point in a story when the characters don't seem real? You did an excellent job of bringing them to life.

I love the dialogue between the two, very realistic and the running commentry in between is full of pizazz.

Really enjoyed this, its very refreshing. Looking forward to reading more of it!

[Just..... That German]

well it just goes to show you that some men are like that. i enjoyed it and it was pretty funy i might add. well done.

[Philosophile. (Maddy)]

This was a great start. Your protagonist is lovable and I as a reader wanted more of her. This really hooks the reader. I also hope to read more of this later on. Great job with this!