Jade

A writing assignment about one of my friends (whose name is not actually Jade)

From afar she appears as one thing, but she’s an optical illusion

For when you step closer, you will come to a different conclusion

At a glance, she is quiet, like a peaceful field of green

But up close, the music of laughter serenades the scene

One may first see a pair of lilies, bluer than the sky

In conversation, intuition dances in the artist’s eye

There seems to be glittering sunlight for a while

But then you notice the gift of a beautiful smile

As the sunlight fades, angry clouds seem to be leading

However, they will vanish as soon as she is reading

Mysterious, dark shadows hide something shimmering and old

And you see it is silky black hair, with pretty strands of gold

At times a rough wind strains the bright blue lilies and you’ll know

That she is attempting to write, but creative juices simply will not flow

Upon her grounds, faithful leaves land each fall

Because she is a great friend to us all

Reviews

[Eternally Elemental]

I would freak out with happiness if someone wrote something of this caliber to me. Each line is a different scene or image and most of them are SOO beautifully expressed.
"the music of laughter serenades the scene"
"There seems to be glittering sunlight for a while
But then you notice the gift of a beautiful smile"
"Mysterious, dark shadows hide something shimmering and old
And you see it is silky black hair, with pretty strands of gold"
"Upon her grounds, faithful leaves land each fall
Because she is a great friend to us all"

So many gorgeous lines! When people rhyme they barely make it to this standard. Like someone said; "You don't go searching for something to fill in the rhyme"

My favourite was "In conversation, intuition dances in the artist’s eye". Beautiful. From start to finish. I would favorite it if I knew how haha.

[Wondering Mind]

"In conversation, intuition dances in the artist's eye" A most wonderful expression. Nicely penned poem

[An Open Venue]

I thing this is a wonderful tribute to a very dear friend and writer

As an end line rhyming poem, I think it would read and carry its message better
if you evened out the line's meter; less is always more.
Ven

[darkgurl]

So beautiful and well used metaphor, well written.....Kim

[Wildecat]

Very creative and the imagery is superb, nice writing a pleasure to read this poem.

[Jennifer Elizabeth]

the music of laughter serenades the scene
intuition dances in the artists eye.

two lines that prove that personification is still a strong creative tool.

very good poem. i like it a lot.

[Lily1111]

Vivid imagery and lovely flow.

[*** Hey Jude***]

The metaphors you bring to this piece cause such a gentle flow. I am sure that "jade," would feel the warmth that you have expressed so beautifully! ~ Hey Jude xoxo :-)

[Elizabeth]

Lyrical, lovely... I like the cadence, the rhythym. Well done.

[QuietPoet]

I thought this was excellent! So imagery and beautiful. I loved this. You did a great job!

[Marvin Lewis Jr.]

The vivid imagery was simply gorgeous and I really like the rhythm.
Excellent write!


-Marv