Jade

A writing assignment about one of my friends (whose name is not actually Jade)

From afar she appears as one thing, but she’s an optical illusion

For when you step closer, you will come to a different conclusion

At a glance, she is quiet, like a peaceful field of green

But up close, the music of laughter serenades the scene

One may first see a pair of lilies, bluer than the sky

In conversation, intuition dances in the artist’s eye

There seems to be glittering sunlight for a while

But then you notice the gift of a beautiful smile

As the sunlight fades, angry clouds seem to be leading

However, they will vanish as soon as she is reading

Mysterious, dark shadows hide something shimmering and old

And you see it is silky black hair, with pretty strands of gold

At times a rough wind strains the bright blue lilies and you’ll know

That she is attempting to write, but creative juices simply will not flow

Upon her grounds, faithful leaves land each fall

Because she is a great friend to us all

Reviews

[Eternally Elemental]

I would freak out with happiness if someone wrote something of this caliber to me. Each line is a different scene or image and most of them are SOO beautifully expressed.
"the music of laughter serenades the scene"
"There seems to be glittering sunlight for a while
But then you notice the gift of a beautiful smile"
"Mysterious, dark shadows hide something shimmering and old
And you see it is silky black hair, with pretty strands of gold"
"Upon her grounds, faithful leaves land each fall
Because she is a great friend to us all"

So many gorgeous lines! When people rhyme they barely make it to this standard. Like someone said; "You don't go searching for something to fill in the rhyme"

My favourite was "In conversation, intuition dances in the artist’s eye". Beautiful. From start to finish. I would favorite it if I knew how haha.

[Hello, Goodbye]

I could read that all day long.. Beautiful imagery and captivating in its details..

[Alisha Mark]

First off, love the title. I think you have a great idea with this, but I feel like some of it is too wordy. I'm very much so into stanza's, because I think it allows the reader to take a moment to pause and reflect- break up the scene change. Despite this, I feel like you have a great taste of imagery. Maybe less of the silent rhyme -- sometimes, it's too, much. Look forward to more.

[Through the Gateway]

Beautiful imagery throughout this piece. A wonderful write about your friend.

[Ellen Hammond]

Your analogies and imagery are outstanding. This poem has a lovely soft flow and great rhyming. It is a joy to read. Since you wrote it for an assignment, I trust you got very good marks on it. If not you should have.

[Arthur Crow]

Rhymed poetry is often the 'essence' of scribing.... there's nothing but respect and admiration to those who can craft it well, this piece is quite a good example of it. It's tight within the meter, the mood is vibrant and keeps the readers interest. Enjoyed!

[Anthony Thomas]

I usually don't like rhymed poetry, but you did a really good job with this. What I like a lot is that each line stands on its own. You, unlike some poets, are able to create an interesting line for each rhyme. You don't go searching for something to fill in the rhyme. The imagery is fantastic too.

[Aaron Eliad]

i have to agree with a few of the people who previously commented, the imagery is beyond nice, a bit like snapshots in each line. Though my favorite part was the last three lines. "Because she is a great friend to us all." keep writing them and i'll try and keep up with them. =D

[Jude]

I Really Loved This
It's very touching
Good Work

[John Stussy]

Beautiful tribute to your not-Jade friend :P