The Eyes Which Hold the Universe

This is my first villanelle:)

 

What is a smile?

in a pair of sparkling irises it lies

I think I'll stay here for a while

because his absence brings unavoidable sighs

I always wonder when he cries,

"What is a smile?"

Its a calloused hand that tries

to wipe away the traces of worldly lies

I think I'll stay here for a while

The world lays quiet, cleansed of all its cries

and I can answer the question that pries,

"What is a smile?"

Its the array of midnight silk that lies

around perfect emerald eyes

I think I'll stay here for a while

His lips are angel's wings in disguise

and in his kiss my heart breaks free of the skies

What is a smile?

I think I'll stay here for a while

Reviews

[CharlieO]

Just a really very wonderful poem. A lovely villanelle.
I think your use of imagery is perfect - powerful and vivid. I really felt that I was soaked in the moment and in the thoughts and feelings of the narrator.
I will definately be adding this to my favourite poems from the sight. So expect more comments from me on this one.
A huge congrats on this.

[17thWhitePrince]

WoW ... very very nice indeed !!!
Such wonders is a smile !!!
What a most beautiful piece !!!
Really really well written indeed !!!

[Shiningdarkmoon]

I really liked this poem. It was sweet and romantic, but not clich�. The choice of images and your use of metaphors are perfect too. :)

[Dead Angel]

so cute!! very good job at your first villanelle :D it reminded me a pit of Edgar Allen Poe, except not dark but light :D this is very romantic and had great imagery. well done :D

[Enigma]

OMG!! THAT WAS AMAZING!!! Simply perfect!! Your first 'villanelle"...can't believe it!! You seem to be expert at this...hehehe
I loved this peace. The rhyme is sweet beyond imagination. It's like a soft music is playing everytime I read this. The title is perfect...
Oh! Man! I gotta read it one more time...
SUPERB!! VERY WELL PENNED!! LOVED IT!!

[Broken.]

Aww I love how you kept saying after 'What is a smile?' "I think I'll stay here for a while"
That part is so.... at peace??
It brings a closure to the piece and a happy one at that :)
Great work

[HalfBloodPrincess]

Wow really beautiful, I really like the line "Its the array of midnight silk that lies

around perfect emerald eyes"

[I love you; just not to..]

I like this poem. you did a good job on it. :)
nice.

[Too Me]

You haved illustrate with words words a beautiful poem. Nice work on the "villanelle" ;-). *Lana*

[dilettante1890]

Indeed. A smile is all those little things. Nice work!