The Calming Effect of Breathing

Finding unbelievable answers in unexpected places.

I am lying on the ground

all I see are the dark shapes that surround

I remember not how I came here

for my entire body, a thousand daggers do sear

Though I twist and turn about, I remain encaged

and steadily I become more enraged

There are others like me

and beside them a man I see

I am angered at the sight of Him

How could He do this to them?

As I think this He approaches me

and I greet Him with respect as they have coached me

I resume my twisting to which He says, "Cease"

At this my voice begins to increase

"'Cease' You say. Why in this pain must I stay?"

"Please only do as I say"

I disregard this reply in distrust

and fix my eyes on the footprints in the dust

Others are escaping, and I must know how

The man says, "Please, heal yourself by listening to me now"

The urgency in His voice

tells me this is the right choice

So in this moment I surrender

my attempts at freedom, which these daggers do hinder

On His face is a look of delight

as I surrender this fight

However, much to my suprise

comes a change in my demise

A sense of healing overcomes as these daggers lift

and I am overwhelmed by this unexpected gift

He throws my daggers against a wall

I try to walk, yet I am weak and fall

He catches me and puts me on his shoulder

as the dark shapes become more colorful and bolder

I realize now we are on a heavenly beach

and of this fact He has been trying to teach

Remembering songs of long ago, I look at His footprints in the sand

and rejoice at His healing hand

After a moment we begin to soar

and all my pain is here no more

As we begin to take flight

I realize that in surrendering this fight

I did not give in

I merely chose to win.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I like the title, which would capture my attention in any queue of read requests. I am not religious myself but I do like conviction writing even if I don't share the conviction. The rhyme is gentle and does not get in the way or feel forced. But more than anything I like the personal drama of the situation. Poem is also very positive and optimistic which is uplifting. So I enjoyed it. I could almost imagine George Fox or William Blake feeling this. I think they would nod approvingly at the nourishing quality of faith you nail to the page.

[Adela Muresan]

You illustrated the tender and healing power of love so beautifully!!
Good job :).

A.

[Dawning Creativeness]

Whoa. Amazing. It's so awesome! It's like how some people say, "The bigger man walks away", but in this case is was surrendering to what was thought to be the danger and not the savior. And getting saved anyway :]

Fabulous. Keep up the good work. :D

[Notsoloud]

An interesting smattering of rhyme and form. Very emotive and heartfelt. I admire poets for their free nature in writing. This is a good piece.

[Antonio Valentino]

Dear poet, this was a very fine piece, keep it up you have a real talent for writing.
Thanks for the friend request that would be an honor.
I'm going to send you a read request of a poem I wrote.
I hope you like it.

Take great care,
Rich

[These Haunted Hallways]

WoW! This was really awesome. The powerful touch of healing a wounded soul can transform that person into a brand new being, and can make that individual see an entirely new light for the better, and good will always be triumphant. Very thought-provoking, yet brilliant and creative. Well Done ;)

B.A.

[Star Catcher]

True to life and beautiful. I love it.

[Charles Sapp II]

An excellent dose of rhythm and rhyme with outstanding visual tension. Well communicated with elaborate verse. This is some of the best I have read thus far. I cannot wait to see more of your posts in the future!