The Calming Effect of Breathing

Finding unbelievable answers in unexpected places.

I am lying on the ground

all I see are the dark shapes that surround

I remember not how I came here

for my entire body, a thousand daggers do sear

Though I twist and turn about, I remain encaged

and steadily I become more enraged

There are others like me

and beside them a man I see

I am angered at the sight of Him

How could He do this to them?

As I think this He approaches me

and I greet Him with respect as they have coached me

I resume my twisting to which He says, "Cease"

At this my voice begins to increase

"'Cease' You say. Why in this pain must I stay?"

"Please only do as I say"

I disregard this reply in distrust

and fix my eyes on the footprints in the dust

Others are escaping, and I must know how

The man says, "Please, heal yourself by listening to me now"

The urgency in His voice

tells me this is the right choice

So in this moment I surrender

my attempts at freedom, which these daggers do hinder

On His face is a look of delight

as I surrender this fight

However, much to my suprise

comes a change in my demise

A sense of healing overcomes as these daggers lift

and I am overwhelmed by this unexpected gift

He throws my daggers against a wall

I try to walk, yet I am weak and fall

He catches me and puts me on his shoulder

as the dark shapes become more colorful and bolder

I realize now we are on a heavenly beach

and of this fact He has been trying to teach

Remembering songs of long ago, I look at His footprints in the sand

and rejoice at His healing hand

After a moment we begin to soar

and all my pain is here no more

As we begin to take flight

I realize that in surrendering this fight

I did not give in

I merely chose to win.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I like the title, which would capture my attention in any queue of read requests. I am not religious myself but I do like conviction writing even if I don't share the conviction. The rhyme is gentle and does not get in the way or feel forced. But more than anything I like the personal drama of the situation. Poem is also very positive and optimistic which is uplifting. So I enjoyed it. I could almost imagine George Fox or William Blake feeling this. I think they would nod approvingly at the nourishing quality of faith you nail to the page.

[Katherine Wyatt]

This is excellent. The end was a surprise. I found it to be an uplifting story of an individual's inner struggle with faith..that is what I got..! Nice write!

[The Dark Priest]

This is an amazing write, so much passion in there and it even rhymes! I do hope you share more with us!
Write hard!
G.

[Jason]

Wow. This is a beautiful write about finding faith! Great great job my new found friend.
Jason

thanks for the review too!

Jason

[Kitty]

I wish I was as much as a believer as you are. But somehow with this poem you MAKE me WANT to believe. This is a very positive look at life and how God influences it should we choose to listen. I love the rhyme scheme you have used and the flow is superb!

Great job!!!!

Josie

[Jordan]

I believe that this is a very great work of 'art' that you've created.
As CharlieO said, your use of imagery is very powerful, and very well used in this poem; It showed great sense of emotion through it, and showed the power that faith truly has.
Your rhyming couplets were very well done - even though some could maybe be considered slant rhyme, it's still rhyming nonetheless, and it was very good.
I suppose you are new here, as am I, but I look forward to reading more of your work, for I am an inspiring poet and would love to see different styles of poetry that only others could portray. Congratulations on this, it was very good!

[Jerry]

i love this poem because i could feel what was going on. i loved how it made me read it so i could figure out what was going to happen. i think your a really great writer and i cant wait to hear more from you!!!!i also thought this piece was very emotional i could feel the emotion in it!!!

peace

[Pointblank]

I kept reading because I did not know where this was going. I was thrilled at the end and glad I continued. I usually dont keep my attention with winded words but this I liked very much. I did not give in, I merely chose to win. Awesome.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

great poem. sort of like "footprints in the sand" written with such conviction and passion. I really like your writing style, I hope you write more!

however, some parts didn't rhyme that smoothly, and I know that it is more of a rhyming style of poem, which I do myself. Could use a little more editing to make it the sharpest....just a few things

BUT OVERALL, AMAZING POEM! i like the part of the daggeers too.

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

I'm not really sure what to say... this is quite good but to me the flow was off, it was kind of hard for me to get through in a way... your rhyme was good but the length of sentences hindered somewhat... But i do like it, i think that you put a good positive poem together and i commend you for that... Good Job! Had some great images in it too... :)

[Barbara Walker]

I like the flow, rhythm and rhymes in this poem. It speaks of God without being "preachy". That appeals to heathens like me:) Good write! Barbara