The Calming Effect of Breathing

Finding unbelievable answers in unexpected places.

I am lying on the ground

all I see are the dark shapes that surround

I remember not how I came here

for my entire body, a thousand daggers do sear

Though I twist and turn about, I remain encaged

and steadily I become more enraged

There are others like me

and beside them a man I see

I am angered at the sight of Him

How could He do this to them?

As I think this He approaches me

and I greet Him with respect as they have coached me

I resume my twisting to which He says, "Cease"

At this my voice begins to increase

"'Cease' You say. Why in this pain must I stay?"

"Please only do as I say"

I disregard this reply in distrust

and fix my eyes on the footprints in the dust

Others are escaping, and I must know how

The man says, "Please, heal yourself by listening to me now"

The urgency in His voice

tells me this is the right choice

So in this moment I surrender

my attempts at freedom, which these daggers do hinder

On His face is a look of delight

as I surrender this fight

However, much to my suprise

comes a change in my demise

A sense of healing overcomes as these daggers lift

and I am overwhelmed by this unexpected gift

He throws my daggers against a wall

I try to walk, yet I am weak and fall

He catches me and puts me on his shoulder

as the dark shapes become more colorful and bolder

I realize now we are on a heavenly beach

and of this fact He has been trying to teach

Remembering songs of long ago, I look at His footprints in the sand

and rejoice at His healing hand

After a moment we begin to soar

and all my pain is here no more

As we begin to take flight

I realize that in surrendering this fight

I did not give in

I merely chose to win.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I like the title, which would capture my attention in any queue of read requests. I am not religious myself but I do like conviction writing even if I don't share the conviction. The rhyme is gentle and does not get in the way or feel forced. But more than anything I like the personal drama of the situation. Poem is also very positive and optimistic which is uplifting. So I enjoyed it. I could almost imagine George Fox or William Blake feeling this. I think they would nod approvingly at the nourishing quality of faith you nail to the page.

[Jofer Serapio]

Wonderfully written! This is a very powerful write. I like your choice of imagery. Everything blended well together. It was long, true, but it needed that length, I dare say. It flowed well and it touched me positively. Great job!

[Ralphy]

This is a lovely poem, full of hope, love, and joy. The choice that was given, in the passion of words, lifted my spirit. I'm happy to have read this wonderful poem.

[Ashley the Fox]

This peice is truly inspiring, and I think the two of us could have marvelous discussions about our faiths and such. I always think poets are at once the greatest and worst philosophers.
I had to read it through twice, because at first the beginning didn't click with the end, but now it makes sense. Bravo!

[shiloh jennings]

Not sure where you found me, but you did.. so I had to come see! And I'm glad that I did, too.....
I'm not generally inclined towards Faith and its proclamations, but I will admit that the original Stevenson version of Footprints In The Sand has always been somewhat near to my heart as it was my grandmother's favourite piece. You have done it great justice and I truly enjoyed this read. Your imagery and rhythm work wonderfully. Welcome to WC and I, too, look forward to many more of your posts! :)

[MistyJRose]

wow powerful! i love it! you really have a way with words, and you describe everything perfectly. Awesome job!

[W.Piggy]

Hey.
Very nice poem. So different and strong words.
Awesome. Thanks for commenting on my work. :)
W.Piggy
:)

[Mariah]

I think it's a good write. I wasn't sure about the flow at first, but I read it twice and that helped me understand it better. This is a really vivid poem that paints distinct pictures in my mind that I remembered even after I finished reading it. You're really good at writing, so don't feel pressured to make everything rhyme. The poem would have been just as good had it not rhymed.

Overall, lovely.

[☮]

"and I greet Him with respect as they have coached me" - Amen.

Flawless poem. Totally felt and understood.

[Vampire]

I liked this poem, it took me a minute to realize the meaning of the footprints in the sand, but i got it :D I really did like this poem, hope to be reading more of your work :D

[Joseph - Michael]

That was a really strong pieces about the faith and such. I wish I could say that I can relate, otherwise I'd be lying...

Anyway, it's all good there, so no worries...