And Every Morning After

Summer Scribbles 2009 #8

In the dim, flickering light
streaming from the porch of Driftwood,
pain leaks from my eyes and
gently lands in your callused palms.
Darkness cloaks our breaking masks,
and we gesture at the mosquitoes
that add irritation to anguish.
You have caused this moment's sting.
And yet, I still love you in the morning.

Reviews

[Chris T.]

First the questions to get you thinking a little:
Why is Driftwood capitalized?
You described your "breaking mask", but why is his breaking as well?

What I liked:
Well, I really liked the "breaking mask" line. Said a lot with a few words, building up the little story quite a bit.
"Pain leaking from the eyes". Good way to "show" and not "tell" (I've always been of the mindset show what is going on, what is being felt, etc... instead of simply saying it). Your piece did an excellent job of building an image.

[Tiffany]

Thats the good stuff, enduring. Thanks for sharing. t.