This Is It?

After so many years we kind of forced ourselves into believing it.

Sequencial heartbreaks all leading towards this sort of back-up plan.

'Awkward' is one word for it. Another is 'overkill.' A third is 'desperate.'

There wasn't any dancing involved, aside from running

around the glittering tables and chairs of the packed banquet hall.

Some apologies were passed out, over the flames of candles,

and in a sick way I fell in love with two men that night

as I distinctly remember them shaking hands, both staring at me.

 

In the morning, he drove me home. I stopped feeling glamorous.

I slipped out of my dress, put on my jeans, and pulled my curls back.

In my driveway, a darkness poured thickly from his eyes,

but instead of taking warning, I said, "You know what I want."

I can't recall how many times he asked if I was sure.

Surely, I was sure, that I wanted this. Perhaps I didn't want him.

However, after having been the one with virgin lips far too long,

the time had definitely come to give it up to someone.

 

Surrounded by his darkness, shivering in the January morning,

he leaned foward and what was once pure, he gently tarnished.

In that frozen moment, everything I had been dreaming of

was brought to my attention, held at a expository angle

so that I could see with clarity what I had so desired. And yet,

all I could think was, "So. My first kiss. This is it?"

Reviews

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Sweet , thanks for sharing :)

[-!katie!-]

I really like this!
I'll definitely consider it for a finalist (:

It reminds me of how mine was. I was like pshh. are you kidding me? isn't this supposed to be like, more special?

(: well done.