The Point?

Huddled in the corner of an alleyway

I sit there on the ground,

The cold, barren ground

It matches my soul.

 

It is pitch black

The only light comes from the still, subtle moon

 

I see few people walk by,

I hear the somewhat faint, distant voices,

I sit and wait if I can hear someone calling my name

Wondering where I am.

 

But I hear nothing,

Nothing at all it is dead, complete silence

I hope, wish, pray

That I would hear someone calling my name.

 

Hoping someone would be looking for me

Anyone that cares,

Or even cared about me

Wondering where I could be.

 

But yet just as I expected,

 I hear nothing

No voices, no sounds

Nothing, as if the whole world has disappeared

Left me here to fend for myself

 

I knew that no one cared

If someone did I would hear their voice

Calling my name

Out in the streets looking,

Worrying

 

Still hoping

But nothing

So what’s the point of hoping

Exactly there isn’t a point

So I stop…

 

 

Reviews

[Erin_is_peace]

I know exactally how you feel about hoping for something that's not going to happen. I knew that vry well at one point in time. I felt that everything was at a loss and their was no such thing as hope. I like how you compaired the cold ground to your soul. It's a very strong image. This poem was wonderful! keep writing!

[Haeshin]

A poem that doesn't bother with sugary language and goes straight to the point.

[Kejo]

Such strong blunt imagery, it conveys such a strong sense of hopelessness and self depreciation. Don't worry though I'm sure there's someone out there calling your name just waiting for you to hear.

[Marlena]

I really love the brutal honesty in this, and vocally I find nothing wrong. I think though at the end, "So what's the point of hoping" should have a question mark, and after "Exactly", a comma would be good to show a brief pause. You could even put "isn't" in italics to stress it, since that's the point of the poem (no pun intended xD).

I really loved it though, you did great work on this :)

[Nayan]

Really great expressions of a person whose belief is broken and hope is lost! But still I say, "Don't Stop! Don't Stop!"

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I thought the imagery was really good in this poem. I can relate to this poem in a way because I feel like no one cares. I just need to be reminded that I do have people that care about me in a way. I do know that some of the people I talk to don't give a s**t about me. I press on though. I know that I have people, but I wish that some others did care. Thanks for sharing. :)

[OceanTropic]

Wow.

I loved the imagery you used with the alleyway. I know you did it to depict loneliness and darkness, a visual image of what its like to be alone. But its also a reminder that so many people go through this everyday. This sit in alleyways between buildings, where no one can see them, yet they are still among so many people.

I can relate so much to this. This hope that someone is looking for you. This intense need for someone to be worried, yet you sit alone and it doesn't cross anyones mind.

Ive been there, it really is a painful place. Good work!

[Undying Glory]

this is really vivid work. bleakness seems to emanate from the screen, it's pretty freaky. brilliant stuff

[X]

cool, it's like a sense of an unconcious soul wandering i like this peice

[Crowley]

The small picture can be so claustrophobic and worrisome at times and it is hard to take that step back and let a little more of the picture change the way we are feeling and viewing our little part of the world. Nice write, the pain and loneliness came through in spades, made me sad. Nice job.