No One's Daughter

Wrote this to deal with feelings I've had from being disowned and abandoned. Still not resolved lol =oP

These days I'm no one's daughter

I sought self evident truths more than the approval of those I cherished

In finding myself I found myself alone

Walking down the hall I drag my hand across the wall

Each frame falling to the tile with a crack and shatter of glass

Framing fictional moments and securing them behind transparent shields couldn't...

Could not and would not protect those images from the truth of all the moments between snap shots

Shouldn't whitewash all the hate and callous nature written upon the walls of this "home"

Home is where the heart is, but my heart wasn't in it

Still isn't

These days I'm no one's daughter

Couldn't be daddy's little girl when he wanted a son

He loved me but failed me

His fear of failing me swallowing him whole like a churning sea in the night

Every short coming another wave cresting the bow of his ship

Each storm of self loathing lead him further from shore... further from me

My heart a lighthouse on a forgotten coast

Even though now he belongs to the sea I still believe the stars might lead him home

A lonely child's daydream to stave off the tears today...

For one more day

These days I'm no one's daughter

Couldn't be my mother's proper young lady

She loved me until I wasn't as I should be

My voice called out to be accepted but my words all to often betrayed me

I'd paint the picture she desired but never quite the image she had in mind

I was the correct colors, proper placement, masterful with capturing light and shadow

But the strokes of my brush never suited her

I'd never hang in the gallery of her heart

These day I'm no one's daughter

I'm a lonely girl who rows her boat to the center of a lake and paints starry nights...

I'm no one's daughter too afraid of the ocean and eyes that might see the stroke of my brush

These day's I'm no one's daughter...

These days I'm they're painting lost to the sea

                   

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0weN2GcD-c the song blends with the work you expressed.

[Alessander]

First, cool image. Is that stained glass?

I felt the sense of disappointment and abandonment.

It seems like the parents had preconceived notions of a "perfect child" and that once those ideals weren't meant, they discarded the child like a broken doll.

It's esp more poignant since parents are supposed to be the avatars of unconditional love.

I liked the ocean metaphor. I use that a lot too.

"swallowing him whole like a churning sea in the night
Every short coming another wave cresting the bow of his ship"

Everything seems moving, uncertain, - distant.

And when one looks up maybe they see the same "starry nights" Van Gogh painted looking out his insane asylum.

[Chris]

Sometimes in "becoming" the person we are we "deal" as only we can.