are you really listening

I get to lose me again

another pebble in the pond and pieces to catch before the wind

it doesn't matter what i allow to show

my love, my pain, my memories

all my truths are illusions to the rest

am i then just an illusion

i can't reach my voice

can't feel my face 

i'm just a ghost bound within a heart of stone

who could think building my fortress for safety

would create for my prison of solitude

doesn't matter what I tell you, or how much of me I give

doesn't matter how long I talk or how much air I have left before

i havr no choice but to exist within the truths they allow

who i am or what i want has never mattered or been acceptable

my dreams

my hopes and realities

a whole lot of luck charms i couldn't use

no matter how many times i look in the mirror i can't see my eyes

there's beauty that i'll never see

so this is my truth

i'm a prisoner for crimes i never committed

what you do is close me down

you say to protect me

you mean it

but you kill all that i am and nothing can change that

you'll keep me safe from the nightmares

but loneliness is it's own hell

i will accept what I have to as I always have

i will grit and bare until my time

i will takes the pain no one can see and find a way to make it beautiful

for you 

as always

always...