The Filly And The Colt

My first love experience in poem form. This song made me think of it :o( < 3

Fillies and Colts

 

I remember the time, the place,

Photos in my head I’ll never replace

It was your pa’s old barn

Getting there was like kittens and yarn

 

I was so taken by your kiss

Sometimes your dad’s tractor I miss

We were young, it was a seat for two

Kissing sure, the nest step I knew not what to do

 

Your hands found my hair

How’d you know I had a weak spot there

Now we’re more then a kiss, here touching grace

You were to be my first, I dared taste

 

I never told you but I hate dip

Can’t say how I knew to, I bit your lip

I could feel your smile in my teeth

An embrace of passion beyond belief

 

Release, you jump to the ground

Taking my hand you help me down

You set your sights like I’m a White-Tail

Just like the deer, my reactions fail

 

I want you to catch me

Such a perfect moment I want this to be

I kneel and sit next to bales of hay

I dare say it, “come love and stay”

 

I said love

I look away to the rafters above

You sit and gently guide my cheek

Tears again, they’re not like the time at the creek

 

Your hard eyes now soft with joy

Feeling like a woman, you no longer look of a boy

Something changed when you caught my tears

Somehow that moment you swept away my fears

 

You’ve become the prey

I begin to seek my own way

You’ve always been my shield

In this freedom it’s become my private field

 

I’m wildflowers, fields full of Indian Brush

Seems for you I’ve become such a lush

Now I lead and you follow

Dancing like mating barn swallows

 

My hands under your T-shirt

Lips locked and in some good way my heart hurts

Bits of hay and backs in soil

Finding my body your hands began to toil

 

You knew as if you read my diary

My hips were ticklish and made me fiery

Fingers near my boys boot cut jeans

Telling stories on my skin like steamy movie scenes

 

I want this and am afraid if I wait I won’t get another chance

I slide out of tomboy jeans and need you to have more then a glance

Your eyes now on me

Through closed eyes I try to not to imagine what you see

 

No buttons left to undo on my blouse

I’m screaming come and get me even though I’m quiet as a mouse

No space left between

You and me, where we were sure we couldn’t be seen

 

Soon completely undressed

Clothes and fears by the tractor tire in a crumpled mess

We flowed like rivers in love struck eyes

You’d lean and I’d rise

 

I had my dream come true

He came in a cowboy hat and jeans so blue

Like prince charming he rode his horse

Within me chivalry gently coursed

 

Will I ever again find my cowboy knight

My Mr. Right

Since you, there’s been so many lonely nights

I never was good at taking a mustang

And breaking them right

Author's Note

idk about this one? it's a sensual love story so tell me what you think? o_O
< 3 Jessie

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

Wow. This is a really beautiful poem. It tells the story of romance and lust in an enchanting way I can relate to as I was born and raised in the rural South. (My first time was in the back of a pickup truck on a dirt road that cut through a tobacco field)
The telling is in a definite feminine voice but still easily relatable to a male reader. That's no mean feat. Outstanding work Jessie

[David Wesley]

This is incredibly passionate and I have to say very, very well written. Your metaphors and schemes, word usage and line breaks, just phenomenal. The piece speaks from the moment and from personal experience. You are extremely eloquent and modest. There was never an awkward moment as I read this and it was very well thought out. I couldn't give you more praise. Really awesome Jess. I want to read more! ^_^

[zainul]

Lovely romantic piece.
Crude and captivating story.
Enjoyed reading.

[Nicky Boo]

wow, you really are great at setting the scene. Now, I am a man so I don't cry. but if one was capable of such an act, he might have a tear at this while reading your poem and listening to the music you have selected. Very nice, young miss, really makes one ache at the recall of lost and cherished childhood memories.

[Simon Welsh]

This is so beautiful ^_^ This certainly paints a romance xxx

[Ravyne Hawke]

This is a wonderful write for your first sensual poem. Very descriptive, great imagery, nice rhythm, rhyme and flow. The last two lines were brilliant. I really enjoyed this piece.

[MoriartyMesa]

Not being as learneded as most, I can say this brought two pieces of music to my humble mind.
1,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NHnpqZ4wGs
2,

Now number one is something that the first few lines made me think of something to the effect of A Tennessee Stud loves a Tennessee Mair. But it was something in the words that sprang Johnny Cash.

Number two, well, I am Latin and I felt the heat in those last lines;

"Soon completely undressed

Clothes and fears by the tractor tire in a crumpled mess

We flowed like rivers in love struck eyes

You’d lean and I’d rise



I had my dream come true

He came in a cowboy hat and jeans so blue

Like prince charming he rode his horse

Within me chivalry gently coursed



Will I ever again find my cowboy knight

My Mr. Right

Since you, there’s been so many lonely nights

I never was good at taking a mustang

And breaking them right"




If your blood comes from South of The Border, you know what those words Mean, what!.

[Jessica Gillitzer]

Where i come from they say you truly only break one mustang right in all your training, and it's the one horse you shouldn't let go. funny enough i guess. I was worried that not to many people would get some on my meanings. =o(
so happy you did! ;o)
< 3 Jessie
oh and your second song didn't show up. grrrr I hate it when that happens >_<

[MoriartyMesa]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=andMxLGS5lc

[Jessica Gillitzer]

sweet song moriarty but I still don't get the 12 in 7 ref. ? o_O
< 3

[Rita L. Sev]

As a love story, this is beautiful and vivid. Your title is a perfect one for this piece. Your rhyme is great, though some of the lines are a bit long and that interrupts the flow a little. Overall, your effort shows in this one - good job!

[Jessica Gillitzer]

wow thank you Rita, I see what you were saying about long lines and flow, not sure how to fix that, i just wrote what I felt i guess i should go back over it. =o)
< 3 Jessie

[Mother Maggie]

Beautiful, sensual and it leaves me wondering what happened to those two young ranch kids.

I grew up on a ranch, but was never left hot and bothered by any cowboy...beautiful girls and women left me all flustered, but being raised in Redneck Central, it never dawned on me that I could be gay or bi...interesting how your poetry can speak so strongly to so many parts of my heart and sou.

Namaste and Blessed Be

[Jessica Gillitzer]

he was a true country old fashioned gentleman. guess i got lucky, i know what you mean about not feeling like you could even figure yourself out where you grew up. i begin to think getting away from your home area might be the only way to find yourself and not have to fell judging eyes. Where I grew up it was very wrong what we had done by most everyones beliefs or standards.
very sweet of you to give yourself in part in this.
< 3 Jessie < 3

[unsavable_soul]

This is splendid,
I am amazed at the skill and flow of this. There is pure beauty and innocence in this piece. Your title combined with the delicate nature of this work led me to wonder how old you were. I don't want to know, I just thought it brought more depth to this piece. I dare say this is true in it's nature to degrees I could not achieve. Your song choice and the lyrics in the video made it all the more profound to me. Love should always be this beautiful when it's true.

"Kissing sure, the nest step I knew not what to do"
Nest/Next*?

"I said love
I look away to the rafters above
You sit and gently guide my cheek
Tears again, they’re not like the time at the creek"
Rhyme scheme and memories, always a winning combination to me. There are real truths I see in this writing, personal views I myself couldn't relate to but found their deep seated emotions easy to understand and feel. This is by far my favorite work from you so far. I would like to also place it in my library please?
Thanks for letting me feature this by the way.
Sincerely
Christopher
100/100

[Jessica Gillitzer]

awww, thanks on the 100, i can't say i think it's worth that but it is very sweet of you. =o)
your right about the typo so thank you on that and wow I am glad you pulled this much out of this. I just was telling the story. you get into this huh? ;o)
< 3

[unsavable_soul]

Yes I get into this,
I try to get into it or else I feel perhaps I should not be reviewing. I have also given the score I felt your work falls under. I intend to start placing the score at the bottom of every review no matter how high or low the score will be. I need to change my interactive nature here to push away people not worth my time. You're of course not included in that. You give true friendship and that means something. Loved this Jess, keep up your beautiful art dear.
Sincerely
Christopher