I Am Weak

Had something go on today that made me need to write this.

If I am weak right now I know not why

Seems there’s a knife in my back for every time I tried

And a scar for every time I cried

I never lied

 

If I am weak right now there’s no answer to be found

It feels like I have no shelter anywhere around

And I must hide, can’t make a sound

I must keep my mouth bound

 

If I am weak right now there’s no one to tell

Often like I walked into this hell

And locked the door when I saw the approaching swell

Now trapped in my shell

 

If I am weak right now I can’t say when it started

Can’t see when I became one of the living dearly departed

And my hopes became powerless and half hearted

I won’t look in my eyes, my soul has been disregarded

 

I am weak, 

right now

I can’t talk about the why or how

I can simply tell you

I am weak...

So what now?

Author's Note

Yeah uh, so okay.
:(

Reviews

[I Shred This Cabbage]

A wonderfully heart full and emotional song. So lyrical and pure. I adore the repeated line, 'if I am weak right now' it's so hard hitting and honest. There's so much integrity here, it feels like an open wound but a wound not ashamed, a pain that allows itself to breathe. Wonderful writing

[Jack...]

Very well done. The message, though sad, is clear and hits home hard. Your format is nice and the flow of the poem is such that you want to keep reading. I liked this a lot.

[Jessica Gillitzer]

thanks jack I am very happy you enjoyed it. =o)
< 3 Jessie

[unsavable_soul]

Very nice indeed,
This is quite direct and very well written. Strong mental imagery and emotional conveyances. The music was an instant win for me, so I may be jaded in my opinions.
Any Tom Petty material is an instant attention grabber. The way this piece describes the personal perspective to your own suffering is very eloquent and is a smack in the face to the ineffectiveness of others attempts to aid you. At least this is what i got from it.

"If I am weak right now I can’t say when it started
Can’t see when I became one of the living dearly departed"

I adore this line. The transposed idea at it's end is superb. I truly expected the following line to contain "hearted", but your's sent me for a spin, very nice.
Of course your ending pulled this all together and brought the impact home.
This is of course simply my thoughts and opinions how ever correct or not.
Heart spilling
Sincerely
Christopher

[Jessica Gillitzer]

awww thank you Chris right? i'm glad you liked the song sweety.
< 3

[Simon Welsh]

Oh wow :( this makes me sad hon but it's so well written xx

[Jessica Gillitzer]

your turn to cry lol. T_T
j/k.
thanks Ell.
< 3

[Simon Welsh]

Boys don't cry :P xx

[Jessica Gillitzer]

maybe boys who don't know me. I like making boys cry ;oD
roflmao
< 3

[Simon Welsh]

Not this one ;) I'm a rock. I'm Adore-era Smashing Pumpkins ;)

[Jessica Gillitzer]

omg please Ell. =oD
I could make you cry like a baby in more ways then one. T_T
< 3

[Simon Welsh]

Giggity :P try :P xx

[Jessica Gillitzer]

time will tell little Ell.
< 3

[Simon Welsh]

Whatever you say, Metal Baby ;p xx

[Jessica Gillitzer]

Metal Baby? -_0 huh?
lol
wtf Ell where did that come from?
< 3

[Simon Welsh]

It's a song by Teenage Fanclub :P you'd like it xx

[shivohumsohum]

You must eat your veggies, the green make you healthy.
Weakness can be outdone by oatmeal and not coffee.

[Jessica Gillitzer]

interesting thought.
< 3

[shivohumsohum]

and organically grown fruit too

[Jessica Gillitzer]

diet does effect alot they say.
< 3

[shivohumsohum]

I know and know it to be true...
that apple seeds are not good for you..
but a good bout of laughter is enough to cure you

[Jessica Gillitzer]

Thanks I will keep it in mind.
=o)
< 3

[shivohumsohum]

peace of mind to you.

[fireblossom]

It's hard to read but its real. I like that. I like the rhyming words. Somehow those take the sting away a little bit...a good thing. Nice writing.

[Jessica Gillitzer]

I had to take away my own stings. Thanks you for letting me know you liked it and your thoughts.
read moreI had to take away my own stings. Thanks you for letting me know you liked it and your thoughts.
Missed you < 3
Jessie

[Acucena G.]

its interesting , you a a good writer and you know how to fulfill the words with your thoughts. Well done Jessie

[Jessica Gillitzer]

Thanks Acucena I try i don't always succeed but itry.
< 3 Jessie

[Acucena G.]

WE are not winners , we are conquers , that's why we can't win everyday

[Jessica Gillitzer]

very wise < 3
;o)

[David Wesley]

I liked your varying lengths of lines that still rhymed, your stanzas were real blocks of images. Trapped between and a rock and a hard place eh? Seems like the speaker needs a new lease on life. Attempting an answer to your final line: Time to move on... in the ashes of death a phoenix rises again. =)

[Jessica Gillitzer]

Oh D. that was sweet really it is. I do need to move on, I wish other would as well. i am very glad you liked it. i think I need a vacations blah=)
< 3