Peacekeeper

I forgive those

who never deserved a second chance

or third

or fourth

of fifteenth

and I lick the wounds in silent

self-loathing-

their names bringing memories

as sharp as knives and I can feel

my resolve slip with every

unanswered call and text

mistakingly thinking I can

get my point across better with 

silence

than the words filling my throat

and sitting heavy on my chest

it is no wonder I have 

panic attacks at the thought

of standing up for myself-

I was raised to keep quit

duck my head

and avoid confrontation-

And I could hate them better if they would just ... let me

if they kept my name from their lips

and took my silence as the

loudest kind of noise

but I know my phone is 

beeping in the other room and 

it is getting harder and harder

to keep pretending my spine isn't

weak from all this bending over backward 

to keep the peace.

"Peacekeeper"- 11-30-13-jessicagadziala

Reviews

[MAC]

a great self expression piece.