Until It Doesn't Hurt

I couldn't get back two years

of my life spent worrying

myself to ulcers over someone

who could never love me as much

as he claimed.

And I cant erase the person

it made me become

weak and passive and so consumed

with someone else that I 

forgot how to be myself.

But I could wear clothes I 

wouldn't be caught dead in three

years ago

and I could give up friends

and family

and coffee

and food

and I could bury myself so deep

in sorrow that I took

blades to my own skin

and force myself to fall into bed

with a virtual stranger and spend

two hours in the shower after trying

to wash the regret away

and I could cut off sixteen inches

of hair that he once loved running his

fingers through 

and pierce things

and date boys my mother would

never allow into her home

and drink too much

and dance with strangers

and take too many chances

and try to bury him underneath

the rubble of new mistakes

and memories 

until it doesn't hurt.

"Until It Doesn't Hurt"- 11-25-13- jessicagadziala

Reviews

[Dominique Lambright]

Very deep, emotional, and passionate. I loved it, you really got all the emotions we feel when we find ourselves changing for someone who doesnt deserve it or even, like you said, waste time that was never meant for that person to begin with. loved it :)

[shinybluestars03]

Good poem.
Very emotional piece,
I can get lost in the raw emotion you
are going through reading this.
Thanks for sharing and keep on writing

Best wishes