No one deserves this

Just some... thoughts on this morning

I feel as though I shouldn't care so much.
But, the moment you find out that someone is going through something, you can't help but care all over again.
My recent ex posted on his Facebook this morning that his dad has cancer.
Now, we both hurt each other, him and I. Only thing is, I did much less to do so, and yet I did the most damage it seems. Truth be told, though, I had to do it.
I had to walk away since I was tired of not being fought for, of being ignored. Especially when times got rough with the rumors.
Not to mention he blindsided me and lied to me about certain things.
I got sick of the constant feeling that something was wrong, so... I did the one thing I knew I should do: I walked away.
And then, someone that was actually there for me during the rough times (muchmuch more than the ex was, mind you) won me over ultimately, and the ex had to start hurting me from afar, spreading lies that I really did cheat all along, that I lied about everything. Of course, the mutual friends knew better than to believe him and actually had the heart to tell me.
I wasn't okay.
I hated him for every bitter word against me he said.
Now, I neither hate nor love him... but, seeing that post he made this morning just made me feel like a terrible person.
I wish I could be there like a good person should be, but I can't, knowing that both of us would risk our sanity if I did so.
I could do it from far away, but I'd feel like a terrible person all the same, just because I can't be as good a friend as I'd want to be.
Even despite all that happened, I want nothing more than happiness for him (even though I still don't think he'll ever have a successful relationship until after he graduates college).
And yet, he doesn't deserve this happening to him.