Staying True

I’ve let you get the best of me, the worst of me, all of me
No matter the outcome I kept giving, kept trying not always sure why
I gave you more of me than I ever game myself
Days, weeks, months passed with little change
I didn’t grow weary no I shrank
Remained in my discontent compliance naively assumed a necessity 

I once thought I couldn’t survive couldn’t live without you
No matter how unstable, unhealthy, unhappy this became
In actuality in losing you I got myself back
I couldn’t accomplish my goals, live true to myself with you
You were oil and I water this is what I was meant to learn

From all the pain my lowest lows I started to see parts of me
I had forgotten but never really lost
My strength, determination, courage, passion
Parts of me no amount of hurt from you or anyone can destroy

You had me confused, afraid, and alone
Time tested my heart and my faith until I thought they were completely lost
You had me feeling like such a fool for all the chances I gave you
But once you were out of my system the regrets faded like worn books
When I stopped looking back, stopped trying to change the past 
I felt a burst of freedom
No longer would I live like before as a doormat
Someone that disregarded their own thoughts, their own wants and needs for someone else

Then I heard the voice I ignored for too long and I started listening
And realized I have too much hope and love to waste it on someone who doesn’t want or deserve it
I have too much life to live to get caught up in other people’s problems
Can’t let their disappointments or their unhappiness rob me of my happiness
I can’t help someone pick the right choices to make 
I can only be the best me try to lead by example
So I’m not listening to what you say or think about me and my life anymore
I know there will always be people in this world who will judge, ridicule, try to hurt, and diminish people to make themselves feel better
But I refuse to play any part anymore
If your approval means sacrificing my integrity, the things that make me it’s not worth it
I’d rather be on my own then with someone I can’t be real with
Because when you truly love someone you accept them for who they are

Not who you want them to be