Always

Today mark four years since I lost one of the best men I've ever known. I still love him and don't think I'll ever stop. Writing about him brings me some comfort. I need a title...Suggestions?

Its been quite awhile now

This hurt just won't heal

All it takes is a moment 

And I'm pulled back down to me knees 

Its strange to think that something so small

Could reduce me to nothing but rubble

But when your heart is made of playing cards

It doesn't take much to crumble

I thought I was strong but then you were gone

Now all I have are memories but they are such a tease

And I want to believe that its getting better

But even after all this time has passed my heart is still on fire

Burning for you

Yearning for you

Sometimes its a flame 

Sometimes its an ember

All I have to do is remember 

Because I'm still on fire 

Burning for you

Yearning for you...

Author's Note

Please critique and if you have title suggestions please let me know.

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Always⁓*

Simple title, I know, Jessalynn, but it's what the poignantly sad beauty of the tenderly held emotion of your core-gripping passions made me increasingly feel while flowing from word to word, line to line, down through this eloquently rendered poetic Free Verse composition of purest, deepest, sheer exemplification of warmly bonded lovelight.

I think you are a tremendously talented poetess and genuinely warmhearted romantic, who knows her own feelings very well, indeed.

The only suggestion I can offer is to separate the length into verses to eliminate the run-on effect, allowing it to breathe, and in order that your readers will have ample opportunity to sustain interest and absorb the nuance of each portion; then, break your longer lines to create more of a poetically rhythmic effect.

Otherwise, it is virtually perfect in every way a tenderly yearning/enduring and endearing poem of real, lasting love should be.

There are some so deeply engrained into our very soul and being we shall never forget … what I'd give to be worthy of such love.
I love it, Jessalynn … hugs to you! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Jessalynn]

Wow thank you for your kind words and I do think that title fits perfect. I really appreciate the feed back on the construction on the poem!

[Richard🖌]

Wonderful response, Jessalynn 🍂
I hope you will take my critique to heart and use it to improve this beautiful poem, making it the truly embracing masterpiece it deserves to be.

May the thrill of poetry speak to your heart "Always⁓*"

[Brad Dehler]

I like how you arranged this poem. Very interesting and I like how it picks up speed, almost as if these realizations are currently blooming and being realized.
Perhaps a title would be "Yearning for you" if not "Always"

[Daz]

'Yearning for you' would make a good title. The poetry reads like song lyrics... and 'Yearning For You" sounds lyrical to me. It's a deeply, emotional piece. Best regards.

[peter Charlesworth]

YES
Been there
Still there.

After 30+ years
We were across a small carpark

we were both with our partners
We saw each other

Stopped in our tracks
She looked longingly

We both turned in our tracks
And returned to our partners


Yes split it into short verses > That is if you can find suitable points to make the break

[HarleyCola]

A lovely piece that does a good job of capturing that feeling, those sparks, of love lost too soon. The tragedy of still being madly in love with a memory, a ghost, and yet finding comfort in reaching for the fragments left in our hearts despite the longing and emptiness they remind us of.

[Chris Shaw]

I felt the loss here. It is deeply felt. The grief will always be there but it will soften with the passing of the years. Nicely expressed emotions. I enjoyed reading your work.

Chris

[Coyote Poetry]

Some fire cannot be forgotten. I liked the honest tones and the emotions in the words. I felt the regret and memory in the words. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Chris]

"I See You Every Sunset."

What's to critique? I can only wish a woman sees me your way... after.

[Jessalynn]

Thank you I'll keep that title in mind.