Bitter Sweet Dreams

Poem about a dream I had about my friend who was taken to soon.

Dreaming of you is so bitter sweet
You were the only man to sweep me off my feet
Oh why does life and love have to be so fleeting
When I listen close I swear I still hear your heart beating
Tormented by these dreams so vivid
With your soul gone mine feels so frigid
You hacked my mind, though intricately encrypted
So long I'd waited and was finally committed
I know it's really not you in here
Just a beautiful fabrication, so crystal clear
The rhythm of your voice doesn't sound right
But I don't care, let me hold you tight
The shade of your eyes is a different color blue
As far as I'm concerned it's still you
Your crooked smile is just a tad askew
Though the taste of your lips seems to be true
I wish to sleep forever, never wake
I'm quite tired now, all the smiles so fake
I just want to be with you
Oh why can't these bitter sweet dreams be true

Reviews

[P.J. Amey]

This is very good.
I noticed you keep close watch on the way you form your stanzas and lines,
the rhyming patterns ect. its very well written.
As for the message, love is an all too relate-able one that is sure to find an audience, especially the way you've gone about describing its rough spots.

[SmittyJas]

You write with beautiful precision and great poets do. Sad is the love you write about so blue I feel the same ways about love as you obviously do.

[Writer_next_door]

Normally I am not a fan of pair rhyming [aa bb cc ect.] but this is really good. It captures the speakers wishes so clearly, though it is still as clear that it is indeed just a wish, a mere dream.

I find the title fitting as well. To me it says that the dreams the speaker is dreaming are sweet dreams -- desired dreams -- but her inability to cause the reality thereof is bitter, thus "Bitter Sweet Dreams" well done.

You did an excellent job with your poem. Thumbs up!

[Jessalynn]

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[Shielah Yuyama]

This is a great poem! The words used, how it rhymed, it's just perfect. The emotion surrounding the poem is heartfelt. :)

[K.M]

AMAZING!!!! You are a fantastic writer! Keep up the good work! - Kenzie

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

Graphic and sweeping in its imagery. I really love the picture it paints and how it flows. This is elegant and potent. Great Job

[Ayushi Jha]

Prodigious work. Much kudos to you!

[zunie frost]

jessalynn you are really an amazing writer.. !!!!! i love your poems !!!! 100% ratings from me !!!!!

[3X3MPLER]

wonderfully written.i like it