Sea of People

Among me stands a sea of people

Frozen in their tracks

Hidden thoughts beneath the steeple

Praying wisdom not to lack

 

A brand new state of mind

A brand new misconception

That the people around them lie

And there is no true redemption

 

But then there come the reality

That love was hung that day

Upon a tree in Calvary

“Tis finished!” he then did say

Reviews

[Jeremia]

I don't like the last stanza, kinda gives the feeling that love is no more rather than that it is the picture of love. Cause the whole part about love being hung that day upon a tree, and then the whole "tis finished", but I guess I'm just a grumpy dude. So ya. Hopefully doesn't frustrated you, cause I'm just being honest.

[That1Nerd23]

It's okay...I like this poem. (:

[Jeremia]

It's good, just feel like that stanza should be split and some should be added to make it seem like you aren't saying love is finished. Because that isn't what you are saying, but that's kinda how I see it.

[Arte Por Vida]

"Tis finished!" is one of my favorite parts. It starts with a sort of somber tone, but ends with a bit of joy. Awesome!

[That1Nerd23]

Thanks, dear! I appreciate it! (:

[BladeofStars]

I like the feeling of this poem. It is very well written, and goes deep into how some people actually think. Very good :)

[That1Nerd23]

Thank you! I appreciate that, friend! ((:

[B-poet]

Very gripping. Redemption does lie within the hands of freewill. Just acknowledge that our lord and savior had risen with your own lips to be granted the keys for eternal living. Great write. :)

[That1Nerd23]

Very well said, I agree!
Thank you so much! (:

[Cerise]

Amazingly written...great work

[That1Nerd23]

Thank you! (:

[J. Viands]

I find our strongest writing comes from our strongest perceptions in life you landed on a good perception of your world

[That1Nerd23]

Agreed! Great concept!

[Steven Cash]

Very sweet, like Missy said

Wonderful job, Jess

[That1Nerd23]

Why thank you, Steven friend! ((:

[SmileBig :)]

Wow! I'm so in love with this poem! It's very well written, and it flows nicely. Short and sweet :)

[That1Nerd23]

Thank you so much, Missy! I really appreciate that! (((:

[Cynthia Man]

A great poem, it've really nice flow and I really like the topic of the poem :DD
And I think the story is really like a everyday thing...
It's what happen when there's a lot of people, and thoughts gathering together...
Great!

[That1Nerd23]

Agreed! You couldn't have said it better!

Thanks for your review! ((:

[Shamsuddin Mazed]

yeah...It's style of Life.......

[That1Nerd23]

Yes, it is for sure.