Really like this poem. Its simple, but you can still see the point you want to state. Or at least what the reader believes its trying to tell you. Very good.
We cannot see every step of the way. The light only shines on one spot at a time. As you search you discover more of who you are and what you are called to do.
I have to say this, don't take this the wrong way, but this felt a little bland. And I suspect it is because you were trying to fit your ideas into a rhyme scheme. For a song, this would be great lyrics. But for a poem, it felt forced.
I think you can do better. Let the ideas flow, don't be so keen on aligning it all in a rhyme scheme. Allow the thoughts flow and you may even be surprised that without making a conscious effort, you may very easily get an incredible rhyme going. Keep writing though. I still will check out all your other poems and I'm subscribed to your writings as well. Cheers.
short. simple. accurate & absolutely way uplifting. must say, it's a worth-reading post. totally time utilizing!
today, most of the youth's being so sunk into the pleasure of "unknown" tamed ecstasy that further has 'em completely drained... to love. being so wondered in the enigma of life, they being gone too far ev'n from their true self, resulting .. the destruction of life, anxiety, depression and the dilemma of night's all what's counted in the shorten life so i guess, this's one hell of a generous post that hustling people of this world walking straight up ahead & letting things be.. go into grey ashes along with burning past & let start up anew journey of life with love, peace and lights. enjoyed reading your post. one of my fav. poetry it is. some of the lines that i pick to name one of my all time fav. are:
"Create your own life, And work hard for it
You won’t get it twice, Make your choices worth it... "
great work, sugar.
am pretty sure would be looking forward to reading your work in time.
But does one seek light, or does light just find the one in the dark eventually? Is it really seeking if you don't do it? Perhaps it is wishing for it in some mysterious way, and then it arrives to you. I would rather just sit at the window and look at the world and find some niche of comfort.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Well in my opinion light will find you if you seek for it by working hard and having determination o.. read moreWell in my opinion light will find you if you seek for it by working hard and having determination on your respective goal.
8 Years Ago
I don't see much in terms of "goals" nowadays. It's a rather dim world, not that I want to sound lik.. read moreI don't see much in terms of "goals" nowadays. It's a rather dim world, not that I want to sound like some typical drab individual, but if people cannot acknowledge the severe nature of the situation, should they even have a goal? I do respect determination in a sense, but I understand it slightly differently from most. I don't see "determination" as a thing which is in service to the world. I see it as something someone just feels. The goal they set it to often makes a mockery of what degree of determination they possess. I can respect hard work as an escape from our more frantic fantasies, but hardly as a true noble investment. I think light will find you no matter what, but it leaves you as well.
I think I'm one of those people who stay in a conflict about who they actually are. I struggle to find which way i look better. I have a deep imagination which has no end. And if you ever meet me then.. more..