The Cost Of One’s Nature

A psychological poem about guilt and repercussions.

No man is sinless

But I’m a sin on my own

No man is free of mess

But my seeds have already been sown

 

Various crimes did I commit

But the biggest one is my existence

In here I’ve struggled to live and fit

But realized I’ve no importance

 

Constant thoughts trouble my mind

One after another

Answers to which I can't find

My anguish will be forever

 

Guilt now seems a part of life

Life which has sunk in apathy

But I’ll be dead so no more strife

Until I’ll be buried in agony

Author's Note

This poem is written with the presence of a deep mind. Hope its worth. And special thanks to the person who helped me with deciding the title and reviewing it before I even posted it ;)

Reviews

[T.C. Yarbrough]

I think you could dig into this deeper and bring forth more interest. I wouldn't worry about keeping it in this form, In my singular view, rhythm is far more important than rhyme, that's just me, you may feel different. Two things you may want to think about, one is details, what is the guilt, the constant thoughts, the crimes etc., the other is considering whether absolutes fit and are truthful (sometimes they do work), expressions like "anguish will be forever" and such can have the potential to close off the reader's imagination and sound generic and also I bet it is true that though the anguish may be lifelong, it is not constant, There are breaks in the clouds, however brief. Anyhow, I hope that helps in anyway. I am no different in you, just trying to inch my way forward. Peace. Thanks for sharing I enjoyed reading it.

[Sandra Nair]

Great, you did it! It's really making me sit back and think. In the sense, we are all criminals who cannot be served by any punishment that is laid down in any constitution. When will we learn? Or actually we've learned, still we are some hopeless cases!

Stay blessed,dear.

[Nigel Mim Avedon]

Its almost consuming.....
its not just a poem in regular form depicting a story...no, its a sneaky and smart write. can i like?

[andrew mitchell]

A profound write Jess. Struggle comes to mind in growing up with the challenges of life. A nice write

[Abhilash Hegde]

From what I could decipher, it's a monologue about a person's past guilt and is seeking penance.

For me, opening lines were the highlight of this write:
"No man is sinless
But I’m a sin on my own
No man is free of mess
But my seeds have already been sown"

At places in the write, the tone of the write shifts to sombre and a bit dark.
And, it puts the reader to wonder, what may have been the guilt, after all?

It's well paced, flows smooth.
Keep writing, keep sharing!
Thanks Jess..

[TheMalady]

Hi Jess!

I'm really surprised after I've read your poem. There was depth and coherence and its theme was very relatable. Though I must say that you tend to be unstable in regards with your tenses especially with the first paragraph. You've started with the present tense and then switched to past tense.

However, I must be honest that I enjoyed your poem. Thanks for sharing!

-keep writing ;)

[Jess]

Wow thnxx for the appreciation

[B. Boileau]

To me this has a ring of coming with age. When someone first realizes life isn't all rosie. It's at that point you wonder about self worth... excellent piece! A refreshing read.

bill

[Tam Warink]

Emotive, rather like a salad with balsamic vinegar. It reminds of a line from the movie, "The Mummy." "Death is only the beginning."

[Rafy T.Nym]

Jess, I like the way you expressed your thought in this poem. . .in a careful, well developed and thougthful way that deserves praise. I've read some of your previous poems and they were actually sweet enough, but this poem has 'deep' and 'matured' construction. Well done!

[Ellen Kolman]

Dont waste time on guilt...life is too short....the poem the great...really well written...poignant and emotive...powerful....well done

[Cyndy Robinson]

We all make mistakes, and some peoples are more visable than others. Well expressed. However, I would not spend a lot of time worrying about it. One thing I have found in life, is no matter what you have done, someone has always done something worse.