The Cost Of One’s Nature

A psychological poem about guilt and repercussions.

No man is sinless

But I’m a sin on my own

No man is free of mess

But my seeds have already been sown

 

Various crimes did I commit

But the biggest one is my existence

In here I’ve struggled to live and fit

But realized I’ve no importance

 

Constant thoughts trouble my mind

One after another

Answers to which I can't find

My anguish will be forever

 

Guilt now seems a part of life

Life which has sunk in apathy

But I’ll be dead so no more strife

Until I’ll be buried in agony

Author's Note

This poem is written with the presence of a deep mind. Hope its worth. And special thanks to the person who helped me with deciding the title and reviewing it before I even posted it ;)

Reviews

[T.C. Yarbrough]

I think you could dig into this deeper and bring forth more interest. I wouldn't worry about keeping it in this form, In my singular view, rhythm is far more important than rhyme, that's just me, you may feel different. Two things you may want to think about, one is details, what is the guilt, the constant thoughts, the crimes etc., the other is considering whether absolutes fit and are truthful (sometimes they do work), expressions like "anguish will be forever" and such can have the potential to close off the reader's imagination and sound generic and also I bet it is true that though the anguish may be lifelong, it is not constant, There are breaks in the clouds, however brief. Anyhow, I hope that helps in anyway. I am no different in you, just trying to inch my way forward. Peace. Thanks for sharing I enjoyed reading it.

[Asante]

This poem hits really close to home, if I might say so. The mind can be such a complex tool, but so beautiful in both its good and its bad. All one can do is accept that and grow with both sides. There's nothing hidden or sugarcoated about this piece, nothing sunny about it, and that's what I admire about it.

Great work, Jess. The effort is appreciated. :)

[Jesse W.]

I've seen lots of people struggle with self-worth over the years, people who have absolutely hated themselves, often for things that were beyond their control. So many of them have uttered things that seem ripped from this poem. It's like you've captured a bit of that struggle and used it as the ink for your words. It's a very raw, very emotional piece and I appreciate how much effort your put into you. Absolutely outstanding work.

[Spencer Barker]

Jess, well done! I found this poem to be well-written, thought-out, and flowing. You did a very good job at stressing how you feel and that is very relatable to the reader too. Nice writing!

[Érenn]

Well it's a powerful piece and considering this piece I am thinking, more of wanting to be acknowledged or accepted for both your good sides and bad sides , not really wanting the help of getting over this side of yours just letting it be for it is right now, even if it isn't exactly healthy. A well written piece.

[Jess]

Yes indeed. Acceptance of a helpless soul.
Thank you:)

[Curtis.Lenker]

This is such a good work. I know the battle from within. The battle of good and evil. It feels like two wolves are fighting and ripping our insides to shreds. Its not easy to live with. I have learned that the one wolf whether it be good or evil that feed the most is the one that will defeat the other one. So be careful which one you feed. It will either destroy you or empower you. This work has such emotion and a powerful message. Good job here.

[Jess]

Wow!! very well said. :) And thank you

[Krizito]

Somehow I get to relate with this. The questions, the conflicts, sometimes it's overwhelming. And you created this all...the feelings...painted deep thoughts in words.
Awesome...you are gifted Milady:)

[Jess]

Thank you. So glad its good.

[Krizito]

Better than good-Unique-

[Jess]

Aww thnxx :) :)

[An owl on the moon]

There is such a profound ocean of thoughts that flow through your words, this world of sin and guilt. Your voice is pleading to be understood without asking for pity or help, simply acknowledging this dark existence and the destiny unfolding. Powerful poem, Jess.

[Jess]

Yes you've interpreted it rightly. Thank you so much :) :)

[Alucard6336]

Hmm I wonder who that person is?

Beautifully written, and the flow is excellent. Wish I could write like that huh? Perhaps I'll stay a long writer, and help those here, who will one day ultimately surpass me, as you will one day, Jess.

I looked at your time and realized you spent the morning conversing with me. Now that was a true honor.

As for the rest of you I suppose if I was a girl you'd comment my works huh. Lol

[Jess]

That person is really nice... ;)
Thank you :) Hahaha. This means a lot.
Hahaha I still will anyway.

[Einstein Noodle]

a brutally dark piece! disturbing for me ... the description of depression (perhaps more) is raw and suffered by many. People take their own lives when they can see no hope whatsoever; and death the only viable solution ... keep writing says i! it smart to seek input with our expressions ... ;)
E.

[Jess]

Sorry if its disturbing.
Thanks for reviewing btw.

[Einstein Noodle]

Oh no! no sorry needed ... poetry on the darker scope of life should be disturbing ... do you agree? :)))

[Jess]

Oh ok yes yes in that sense

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ............... i look forward to you posting more!

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Very nice piece of work. When you really dig deep into your mind thoughts floats on the surface for sure.

[Jess]

Thank you for your time :) :)

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Welcome friend :)