The Cost Of One’s Nature

A psychological poem about guilt and repercussions.

No man is sinless

But I’m a sin on my own

No man is free of mess

But my seeds have already been sown

 

Various crimes did I commit

But the biggest one is my existence

In here I’ve struggled to live and fit

But realized I’ve no importance

 

Constant thoughts trouble my mind

One after another

Answers to which I can't find

My anguish will be forever

 

Guilt now seems a part of life

Life which has sunk in apathy

But I’ll be dead so no more strife

Until I’ll be buried in agony

Author's Note

This poem is written with the presence of a deep mind. Hope its worth. And special thanks to the person who helped me with deciding the title and reviewing it before I even posted it ;)

Reviews

[T.C. Yarbrough]

I think you could dig into this deeper and bring forth more interest. I wouldn't worry about keeping it in this form, In my singular view, rhythm is far more important than rhyme, that's just me, you may feel different. Two things you may want to think about, one is details, what is the guilt, the constant thoughts, the crimes etc., the other is considering whether absolutes fit and are truthful (sometimes they do work), expressions like "anguish will be forever" and such can have the potential to close off the reader's imagination and sound generic and also I bet it is true that though the anguish may be lifelong, it is not constant, There are breaks in the clouds, however brief. Anyhow, I hope that helps in anyway. I am no different in you, just trying to inch my way forward. Peace. Thanks for sharing I enjoyed reading it.

[Dove]

This is a very beautiful poem. The second paragraph reached out to me. "Various crimes did I commit, But the biggest one is my existence." This basically describes my thoughts when feeling guilty. Very well done!

[SmittyJas]

We all have guilt and sin we all are forgiven by the Blood of Jesus Christ pick you self up and feel this hands on your agonizing shoulders for the burdens are lifted and the cross you carry is heavy Gpd is good and lifts the burden from your back and frees you from guilt and shame and blame. Very strong write and emotions felt all the way to the heaven's gate Don't let the Guilt of sin destroy you soul that God has blessed.

[-Scribe in Style-]

Beautiful. I feel it. The deep emotion. The going on and being held back. It has a huge message that is pushed through as the verses progress. I feel that the persona has maybe lost hope and doesn't believe in themselves. Your poem also pushes through a message for life and how one person influences another's existence or not so much.

Well written, especially if it is after such a long time. It is difficult to keep the pen in the hand, and the first come back piece is usually grand. And here that is evident. Keep writing.

Scribe in Style
Thanks for sharing.
A

[Jocie de Jaune]

Wow... you write a lot older than your age. This poem is so mature...there's so many dimensions. Love it!

[usman]

very well written indeed,,your message was clear,but next time,when writing so emotional,make it harder.

i look forward to reading more of your work

[chloe covington]

hi I enjoyed your poem it was very deep and dark I found it was a bit dark though which was really good as you put a bit of a twist on a poem that could've been less if you hadn't been willing to risk it.

[Sangeetha]

Well Ms Jess I'm not one to dabble on things such as tenses but a true nature of a poem it's the soul the writer itself I can everything that you wished to portray in this poem...it's very deep the agony was displayed very well i can honestly say that I know how that feeling feels like in this poem...and never forget every creation that's is yours is as worth as anything that lives on this land... It will be worth no matter how little.

Full ratings!!!

[boblakin]

Big difference from feeling guilty and being guilty. Everyone, atone time or another has felt guilt. It need not be an event of great proportion, something as seemingly innocuous as looking the other way when someone homeless passes, can be the trigger.

Food for thought here.

boblakin

[Rose Jaeger Kaneki]

wow, this is amazing and powerful. i love this

[pams poems]

I love this poem can relate to it in some way, i feel you have captured guilt and depression. Many people feel this way so well done