The So Called 'Friend'

watch out! there are people who pretend to hug you but instead stab you.

I was never into all you do

But once I stepped in I couldn’t go

 

Yours smiles, your words and fake etiquette

Cast a spell on me which I refused to hate

 

I made you my friend without realization

That there was no match for our mental synchronization

 

Gradually I felt there was something surely wrong

You had been using me for your purpose for so long

 

You never really cared about any of my deeds

Unless I was there to cater your needs

 

But I can’t bear this now I’m way too sore

Though you’ve made me a fool you won’t anymore

Author's Note

Sometimes there are people who just fake around and pretend to be your friend. But they forget that you exist when you need help.
Please vote and comment on my poem-it would mean a lot :)

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

This is so filled with the pain caused by those who are too shallow to really love, to be a true friend that stays close no matter what. And though you write of the sorrow, you write of the strength as well, to move on with your life and not be pulled back anymore. Powerful.

[Jess]

Yesss...Thank you :)

[Insight "MH"]

Some people have a strong appeal that makes your legs move towards them while your mind says no. Well done on this lovely write.

[Curtis.Lenker]

I can sense the pain from within. Some people like me keep there heart locked up cuz of fake people. You gotta stay guarded because you never know when some one is being fake or not. I like by a code its not a pretty one but it has stood true the to test of time for me. That code is people=s**t. A human is the most cruel animal on the planet. You gotta be careful of who you trust and keep close to you. This is such a good work here. Very well written wish such powerful emotion.

[Jess]

Yes, thats a bitter truth. You're right.
Thank you for your time :) :)

[Anthony Nacrelli]

I know I've certainly been in situations similar to the one described in your poem. It was really personal, which is great. Just keep writing about what you know, it's good that your trying to write as yourself rather than somebody else. That sort of authenticity real kept me tuned in.

[Jess]

:) thank you for the support

[Davidgeo]

Third line first word you have an error. Also, swap "and" with another "you" in that line, it will give the line more music.

The rhyming scheme is consistent but very very very very basic. Which is fine but your theme is not enough to make this poem stand out, you need to rewrite this with more aggressive word play. I can't tell you how to do that, you either can or cannot do it. Only way to find out is to try, try, and try some more.

This was thoroughly average.

[Daniel]

A good writeup more or less a free verse, your explanation on how fake friends use and dump at the end is true. Nice work

[Jess]

thnxx a bunch

[Krizito]

I think your friend is more the "user" than "backstabber". That out of the way...this was a nice read-great storytelling.
But I cant help but feel that you went soft on that"friend". Don't go easy..create more intensing imagery..draw in more emotions. This piece has got potential:)

[Tam Warink]

This is more a reflection of your own expectations and understanding of the word friend. In a sort of free verse with end-line-rhyme you think out loud what you might say to "The So Called 'Friend'"p perhaps as you summon the courage to confront them face to face. The true artistry is in the internal conflict and confrontation with the ego duality. Compliments to the chef, don't drink the water.

[Spencer Barker]

Well done! I can tell you have a lot of heart and are quite passionate about this. It is very true some of the people you encounter in your life do not give you the respect or appreciation; the falseness certainly can ensue. You summed that up very well in this poem. Nice writing!

[Érenn]

Wow. I don't believe it. Sorry, but the truth is i have experienced this one personally more than once in my life and no doubt about it, i have learned from my past error of judgements (I think). So yeah i can truly see how this can turn out, but you know i have a feeling you expressed a lot less than what happened with you, don't be afraid to express more. I think it will make some of our hearts move even more than this piece already has.