Her Dark State

This poem caused me to rethink. I know we can never change our fate. But at least we can try or we'll die.

She’s that girl

Who doesn’t know why she cries

Are there numerous problems

Or is it her sick conscience

She used to be the happy one

With her friends, had all the fun

But then her state deteriorated

Something in her mind spun

All the sobs became her fate

Soon she was to enter hell’s gate

Pain conquered her soul             

Devils began to howl

With that death started to chase

Everything in front of her seemed haze

But she refused to be caught

And continually fought

Because hope was what she believed in

And knew that this way she might change her fate and win

Author's Note

Please vote and review. And share your thoughts about changing your fate. you can inbox me

Reviews

[zunie frost]

hello Jess !! i finally got time to read your work . so sorry for such lateness and that's because my exams are very near and it's a really great poem it has so much emotions and beautiful which fits jusy great in your poetry !! i love it

[Jess]

oh..Thank you so much for your time. Thank youuu :) :)

[B. Boileau]

Hope inspires change. Very well expressed piece. Uplifting, with just the right emotion. I like this. We'll done!
Thank you for inviting me to read your work.
bill

[Jess]

Thank you so much. Its an honor.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Hope will bring light. Clouds clear and the sun shines through after every shower!!!

[Jess]

Well said. Thank you

[Alucard6336]

In afraid one such as me can't change my fate, and I wonder hoenin earth you knew I was awake.

This is indeed a great piece, better than I could do :) great work jess

[Jess]

Haha. Thank you :)

[Lexi Richard]

I can really feel the power an emotion behind your writing. Really nicely done.

[Jess]

Thank you:)
p.s. ur really pretty

[Lexi Richard]

You're welcome and thank you:)

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Great expression of how our state of mind doesn't always determine who we are. The way you expressed the will to survive and hold fast to hope at the end of this piece was awesome.

[Jess]

indeed. thank you

[Solar]

/Everything in front of her seemed haze
But she refused to be caught
And continually fought/

This is shows that the Dark State did not succeed in pulling her down - a warrior spirit in her!

[My Broken Heart]

A battle within. Hope wins the day. I think your on the right track here. You show pain and suffering but dont give up hope. Keep them coming.... Good Job

[Jess]

Yesss. Thank you

[Lydia Shutter]

Uplifting words. If you keep your eyes on the positive side of life, you are ahead of the game. Hope has inspired so many people. I liked this poem. Lydi**

[Jess]

Thank you :)

[Richard Mueller]

I do have a similar theme in my own poetry, so I like this because of the relation between depression and such!

[Jess]

:) thanks boy