Reality kills

Still new to this but it's very useful. Thank you for the reviews. :)

Four years..
It's been like hell,
Struggle to sleep, eat.. Even breathe.
Lately it's gotten worse,
It's like living what I'm imagining..
Assume I'm sat down,
I see whatever I'm imagining..
I'm not aware of what's actually going on,
I can't see anyone or anything!! I can't even hear them..
It scares me to think I'm drowning in my own thoughts and feelings.
I'm too scared to ask for a hand incase it lets go,
I'm too scared to show signs incase they think I'm attention seeking,
And I push people away because I'm scared of them letting me go..

I don't see the point in believing in hope...
I don't see the point in trying..
And I don't see the point in living.
What's it worth?
Living this painful life full of sin?
There's just no point..
I hurt everyone around me,
I let people down..
I push the people that care the most away..

Just know that I'm sorry for everything that I've done.