An Awkward First

A Story by Jess Holden

The night left the world quiet and still, all except my room, a bright yellow light on just above my bed, the sounds of movement barley heard. I hoped no one would hear what we were doing; I couldn't imagine having to explain my evening plans.

I sat with my legs hanging off the edge, my hands clenching deeply into the thick comforter as I listened to the sounds of her breathing. I couldn't move, and I couldn't hear her move either, so it came to me as a surprise when I felt her kiss my shoulder blade, sending goosebumps all over my body.

"You're so cold," she said, placing her warm hands around both my shoulders and hugging me from behind. I focused my eyes on my toes, and tried not to think about anything but the steady noise of our breathing.

"I didn't notice," I murmured mindlessly, feeling her hands run down my back, over my bra strap, and around my waist, biting my bottom lip the whole time.

"You never do," she laughed, biting into my shoulder gently, a shiver running down my spine. It was weird how much I could just sit there and let everything happen, when I was as lost as I was.

"That's what I have you for, right?" I turned to face her, a mess of black and brown hair and baby blue eyes starring back at me. She smiled and sat up on her knees still slightly behind me, her hands back at her side.

"What's wrong? You aren't the same tonight..." I looked away from her and out the window and the bright white moon, trying to focus.

Her hands ran up my back again, undoing my bra, before continuing to my shoulders. I froze and closed my eyes, fear rising within me.

"Cat," she whispered in my ear, "relax, everything's okay, remember?" I felt her move behind me, and her arms grasp around my stomach, holding me tightly to her. I felt safe and warm with her by me, but I couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't where I belonged.

"Rose," I turned my head, my ear connecting with her lips, "I don't think this is me..."

She didn't release me, nor did she speak, instead she kissed my ear and laughed. I smiled; I loved her laugh, I always have. It was the most unique laugh you'd ever hear.

"Cat, it doesn't matter. I told you I'd be here for you," she released me and moved beside me, "and I always will be. No matter who you are."

Our eyes locked, a smile spreading across my face.

"Why are you so good to me?" She placed her fingers over my lips and closed her eyes, moving closer to me.

"Because I love you Cat, no matter who you are." Her lips met mine as I closed my eyes and fought back the shivers that kept running down my spine. We pulled away for a moment, a small laugh escaping her lips, before she kissed again, this time harder. Her hands ran up my arms and cradled my face. I smiled throught the kiss, as I fell back down onto the bed.

"Rose," I said between her breakaways for giggles, "what are we doing?" I felt panic rise within my chest as I fel her hand brush past my thigh.

She broke away, resting her forehead on mine, and laughed. She opened her eyes and starred at me, a beautiful half smile on her face.

"I don't know yet," she kissed my froehead, "let's just see."

I starred at her for a moment, before sitting back up and kissing her passionatly, feeling her arms drape around my shoulders, pushing me back.

"What?" I said, looking at her, noticing her smile and shining eyes. She was sitting on my lap, my face just meeting her collar bone, looking down at me.

"You may not belong here," she said, "but right now, this is where you belong."

I kissed her collar bones, tracing up her back with my hands, undoing her bra. She froze for a moment, and I froze with her.

She came down to my level, and looked me in the eyes, smiling no more and instead looking worried.

"Cat," she brushed a few hairs out of my face, "my beautiful Catherine," she started to worry me, "are you sure you want to continue?"

I smiled and laughed, "only with you."

She smiled back and kissed me, knocking me on my back, holding my arms away from my body. She kissed down my jawline and neck, collar bones, then onto my stomach, hitting my hip bones quickly.

I pulled her back up towards my face, sitting up and kissing her, before nodding and laying back down. I closed my eyes, and felt her unbutton my jeans, feeling every tooth of the zipper as she pulled that down with it.

She pulled my jeans off, a smile on her face, but her eyes had worry. I wondered what she was worrying about, but I dare not ruin the moment.

She kissed all up the inside of my thighs, running her hands along the outsides and smiling. I bite my lip, smiling at how good yet weird it felt. Her lips were soft, and the way she moved her every body part, made the euphoria more intense.

She reached my crotch, and rested her chin on my hip, smiling up at me. I watched her as she pulled my underwear away, still starring up at me.

"Are you okay?"

"Are you?" I asked back, starting to sit back up. She pushed against my stomach, trying to keep me lying down.

"As long as it's you, I always will be."

she kissed against my lips, closing my eyes and enjoying the uinique feeling. Her hand began to rub as I bite down on my lip, trying not to moan, feeling her toung dig deeper. I grasped my hands around the blanket tightly to fight back the moans as she moved faster and faster. I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out was a loud moan of her name.

"Rose," I moaned, unable to think of anything else to say but her name. I kept my eyes closed as I heard her laugh, imagining how blue her eyes would be, and how big her smile would be.

She moved faster and faster, my breathes getting deeper and heavier as I felt a tension building in my hips. I fought back the urge to thrust towards her, and just tried to keep the loud moans to a minimum.

I felt her hand dissappeare from rubbing, and instead one entered me, causing me to release an exasberated loud moan, my chest puffing outward. Rose took her other hand, and pushed me back down, before continuing to go in an out quickly.

I couldn't fight back the moans anymore, as I erupted into a collection of gasps and moans. I smiled as I felt myself getting closer and closer to the euphoria that everyone talks about.

Rose placed another finger inside, and I moaned louder, making a small thrust towards her fingers. I had never felt this way in my life, and for once I trusted someone. Rose entered another finger and I almost screamed in pleasure, unable to hold it all back any longer.

"Rose," I moaned, "I can't stand this." I heard her laugh, and enter a fourth finger in, a scream erupting from my lips, tension building further, then releasing suddenly. Rose quickly removed herself and laid ontop of me, our eyes meeting, and she placed her hand over my mouth.

"Shhh love, we have to be quiet, remember?" Her voice was nothing more than a whisper, and even less comapired to my heavy breathing.

She quickly jumped up and shut the light off, pulling the covers over the both of us, her still lying ontop of me, both of us breathing heavily. She looked down at me, one hand on my chest and the other on my hip, smiling.

"What was that feeling?" I asked, slightly light headed from the whole thing. She held back a laugh, and kissed me, her toung tasting sweet.

"Shhh," she ran her finger over my lips, tracing them, "you still think you don't belong here?"

I smiled and kissed her, moving my hands down to her hips, holding them above mine.

"I belong with you," I kissed her, and massaged her hips against mine, sitting up against her.

"No wait," she reached towards the bedside table and grabbed something I couldn't see in the darkness. She got off me for a moment, before sitting back down, something digging into me from her crotch.

"Rose, is that what I think that is?" I asked in disbelief, with almost a laugh in my voice. I could see her huge smile across her face even in the darkness, as she sat foreward into me, the object entering me too. I moaned as she pushed me back over, and straddled me.

"This time," she whispered, "you can do the same thing I did to you." I smiled as I felt her begin to thrust into me, us both moaning.

I smiled, and thrusted high into her, her eyes closing and moaning loudly, my moans left to a minimum.

I thrusted faster, feeling her moan against me as I moaned with her, almost paralized by the amount of pleasure. I kept moving faster and faster until I heard her scream out, causing me to stop out of fear.

"What's wrong?" I asked out of breath, as she starred up at the ceiling, her hair a mess and breathing heavier than me.

"Keep going," she said, laying back ontop of me, and thursting, still making louder than usual noises. I went with it, giving her what she wanted, until she screamed out again.
"Cat!" She breathed out, us both remaining still, except for our fast beating hearts and breathing.

"You okay?" I asked, wiping hair off her sweaty face. All she did was look at me with that smile spread across her face. She kissed me again, her tounge examining every place in my mouth, before she spoke.

"You are the first person to make me do that," she breathed out, smiling still.

"Do what?" I asked stupidly, Rose laughing at me.

"You need to learn more about sex darling," she cradled my face in her hands and kissed my forehead again, moving down to my lips.

"Is it over then?" I asked, sounding dissapointed. She smiled as her blue eyes twinkled in the darkness. I wanted that rush again, and I kind of wanted it now.

"We can do this all night," she said, thrusting her hips into mine, both of us moaning.

"I wish this night would never end," I whispered in her ear, and she laid her face beside mine. She bite my ear lobe and laughed softly, "it never really has to."