Send?

"I just don't know what to say anymore...

I'm too afraid to open up to anyone, but too hurt to hold it all inside.

I just want to scream.

Like right now, you're listening but, are you hearing me?! Are you hearing my despiration, my lack of hope? Or is it all just in my head? Do you see this all as an act of attention, or as my cry for help? Please, please tell me you understand. I just can't be alone anymore..."

 

I look the message twice over, making sure their are no spelling or gramatical errors. My mouse lingers over the send button, so tempted to click.

 

This could change your world, a voice in my head says, as my finger begins to tap lightly on the mouse.

"What if it changes for good though?" I said aloud, thankful no one was around. I'd look crazy if anyone saw me talking to myself.

 

Who says things will get better? Seriously, who wants you anyways? Telling people you're messed won't help, only attract attention.

"But what if it does help?" I murmur, looking down at the keybored, too afraid to even look at my hideous message of complete truth.

 

Go ahead then, what are you so afraid of?

"Everything. Rejection, or losing her as a friend..." I had lost so much, that losing more would hurt. My eyes started to water, as I looked back at the screen, the mouse still hovering above the send button. I closed my eyes, as I pushed down on the mouse, hearing a gentle click.

 

 

Author's Note

Took part of this from a bit of reality. Accidentally sent something like this to a friend, and I didnt want to... it was awks...
ignore spelling&grammer

Reviews

[Kayla K]

Jess, I loved this little story. It's so brave of you, to have sent this. I admit fully I'm not strong enough to do something like that. If I did have the strength to say something like you did, here's what I would say:

{"Don't we all hide behind fake smiles? When you see that "popular" girl that everyone loves, do you wonder what she's hiding? When you look at the "emo goth boy", sitting alone at lunch, do you just ignore him, and think he likes the solitude, or do you wonder what he's dealing with? When you see the gay kid do you think "Oh my gosh, a gay guy to go shopping with me!", or do you look at reality, and realize how much crap he's probably been put through, how much he's been bullied and rejected? When you look at the player, treating each of his girls like they're pawns in a game, do you wonder why he acts like that? When you see the town s**t with her short shorts and low-cut tank top all over some random guy, do you wonder who first broke her heart?

When you see me, what do you see? Do you see someone strong? That isn't me. I'm not always strong. I don't want to be alone, but I'm more afraid of rejection."}

Reading this makes me want to say this to somebody, and I hope someday I can be as strong as you.

[The old me]

great job

[RidingTheWind]

You've occasionally switched between the tenses, but apart from that I quite liked this story. It's easy to feel the emotion behind it, and I hope you write more things like this.

[FaithfullyJennyBear]

I can relate to this too, your writing is utterly amazing! x

[Short.Nerd]

Wonderful:)

[Kinau]

Dear Jess...
My whole life is a secret, I can't get friends because they ask me things about myself that I can't answer, and so it traps me in that same place, I call it closing the envelope, though I can never get through it, cause I know if I do, I'm not just risking my friends, I'm risking my familie's safety and their love by letting out even some of my secrets. I understand that trapped feeling, so if you ever need to talk to someone, my eyes and ears are open to you
P.S. I applaud you.
- With care, Kinau.