Surgeon in the Shadows.

This one feels right for the situation I'm in right now :)

I went for the heart while it was still beating,

The body still moving.

 

I gotta wait till she's cold and dead,

To make my first incision.

 

I wait in the shadows,

Unable to hold in my excitement.

 

Her breathing is slowing,

Is this death or slumber?

 

I move forward an inch,

Damn, she lives another day.

 

Walking the streets she does daily,

But is she really alive?

 

Is it not the heart beating in her chest,

That says she's alive?

 

Or is it the fear,

Of never trully living?

 

 

Reviews

[Alicia Hirshey]

dark, beautiful and intriguing. Loved it.

[Chloe]

Very interesting use of context and style. I really appreciated you showing me this one. Your writing is extremely unique, my dear. I hope you'll take this all to heart.

[Matthew Kult]

Great write. Dark and intriguing.

Matthew

[Demonz]

Very nice work. Reminds me of a foggy night somehow...A woman's mysterious injuries. The surgeon's secretive and evil-seeming behavior. The disapointment in her living. I like it very much. The thought and detail are so deep. It pulled me in and I absolutly was amazing, for the forth time tonight.
Thank you for sharing this with me, Jess.

[+Naomi+]

Mysterious...I like it.
The secrecy makes it look like the Surgeon is about to do something devious and unneeded in this woman's current condition. You've got talent :] Never stop writing.

100/100

[Zi]

This is a powerful piece, Jess. The images it brings to mind are intense, and the format really seps the idea of it being a thought process. Great job! =)

[roy mccarthy]

great poem!
i like it,
a bit dark and mysterious!