From the heart.

Poem I wrote this past Sunday night.

I miss my friends,

I miss my notes,

My memories,

My happiness.

 

Whenever I cry now,

It's because none of these things are here anymore,

I lost them all to the fire that is me,

I just lost everything.

 

All that's left is my lost hope,

And the chance to restart,

But i'm too afraid to leave,

I can't abandon all I've known... 

 

I remember when I thought getting him would make everything so much better,

But I was so wrong.

 

I didn't want to lose my hope for life,

I didn't want to lose the reason I'm alive, I never wanted to be left in debt,

My heart hurts.

 

When I say that I don't mean this as a poetic form of speach,

I physically hurt,

Those people made me who I am now,

And I fucked that all up.

 

The people who stayed,

I don't know why,

It makes giving up so much harder,

Knowing that one or two are left,

Possibly caring,

Maybe lying about it. In my head my brain says give up,

My heart is far too broken to talk,

And I'm just torn between the two;

If I had just shut the f**k up,

Everything would be perfect.

 

Sure I would've had panic attacks,

But as long as they thought everything was alright,

Right?

 

Faking it is the new honesty,

Just tell them what they want to hear,

Don't bother them they just want you happy.

 

Why am I not like this?

I'd rather have a depressed best friend who is honest about it,

Than a depressed best friend that hides it,

Lies to get through everyday,

And hides a secret from the world.

 

I could never prove myself to any of them,

That I was worth keeping a secret,

One would always slip,

Always one that wasn't even a secret,

Just that someone lied,

Or got drunk,

I was pointless to them.

 

But I was happy,

They gave me purpose to live,

Strive for perfection,

And try and be so much better than I am.

 

I changed for them.

 

I lost myself.

 

I miss my friends,

I miss my notes,

My memories,

My happiness,

And most of all,

Myself.

Author's Note

Lol had some fun with this one :P

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

SEEMS YOU LET IT ALL OUT IN THE LINES ON THIS WRITE...YOU CAN FEEL THE ANGUISH AND THE VENTING MOMENTS IN EACH WORDS AS YOU READ THIS PASSAGE ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE STRUGGLE...AND YET IN THE END YOU TRULY ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY MISSES ANYTHING "YOURSELF"...