Chapter 3: The Faire

Chapter 3 of Variola No sex but there is sexual innuendo

Tanya's seventeenth birthday party was nice. Her father was back from his business trip. The cake was German chocolate and the ice cream was the extra creamy homemade kind from a local dairy. Tanya's parents made a large deposit to her college fund and gave her a much needed iPhone.

"Tanya told us you planned to take her on an all day shopping trip tomorrow. She was a bit vague about where you're going,, Loretta said to Connla, a frown marring her attractive face.

"That's cause it's a secret. She doesn't know where we're taking her. I can say it's a really neat place and has an amusement park as well as shopping."

He used a touch of magic to win Tanya's parents over to the idea of letting her go with them.

"I'll bet they're taking her to that supermall down south," Thomas Swift said.

The supermall was located off of the North-South Interstate, about a two hour drive south of Central City. It had a large amusement park in the center of the mall.

"Hush, Thomas. You'll ruin the surprise for her," Loretta said.

The teenagers knew Tanya's parents had been won over.

Tanya arrived at the Danann's front porch early Sunday morning. She wore hiking shoes, comfortable jeans, a red sweater, and a tee shirt with a picture of a coiled diamondback rattlesnake on it.

"You won't need the sweater where we are going," Connla said as he let her into the house.

"Because it's indoors?"

"Because it is always warm there."

Connla grinned. He led her through the hall into the living room where Lord Cormac and Lady Nora sat on their throne-like loveseat. Coran was seated on a couch to their right. Tanya, who now knew proper Faerie etiquette, approached the Lord and Lady of the house and bowed.

"You look chipper this morning, Tanya. Are you ready for your trip?" Lord Cormac said with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"As ready as I can be considering I don't know where we're going."

"We are going to The Faire," Connla blurted out.

"The fair? What fair?"

"The Faire in Faerie. Is there any other one?" Connla replied.

"We've packed a picnic lunch since we'll be there all day," Lady Nora assured Tanya.

"We'll be leaving through the gate at Firefly Island so we will have to drive to the park," Lord Cormac added.

Tanya looked at the Danann family, noticing how they were dressed. The men wore dark tan slacks tucked into leather boots embossed with vines that formed Celtic knots, and pale tunics. Their unicorn and gryphon crest was embroidered on the shirts. Their hair fell in shining waves across their backs and shoulders. All wore elf-silver swords buckled at slender waists. Lady Nora wore a tan peasant blouse and a skirt that fell to just above her ankles. She also wore sturdy boots and a short knife buckled at her waist.

"Should I have a weapon too?" Tanya asked as Lady Nora picked up a picnic basket.

"What weapon do you know how to use?" Lord Cormac asked her.

"None -- but I could learn."

"Until you do learn you will carry no weapon into Faerie. A weapon you don't know how to use is worse that none at all."

"Besides you'll be with us and The Faire is well policed," Lady Nora said.

The drive to Crystal Lake Wildlife Sanctuary seemed like it took forever.

"Why don't you just open up a temporary gate like Lord Niall does?" she asked.

"Takes a lot of energy to create a temporary gate. Using a permanent portal is much easier," Lord Cormac said.

"Lord Niall expends the energy to create temporary gates because he knows we monitor the one on Firefly Island. He wants to make it hard for us to track his comings and goings," Coran added.

"Does it work for him?"

"Sometimes," Lord Cormac admitted.

Lord Cormac drove past the overgrown honeysuckle bushes at the entrance to Head Ranger Parker's home and up to the frame house. They did not go to the house but headed around back to the shore of Crystal Lake. By the sparkling water was a sturdy little row boat and beside it Ranger Parker's wife, the beautiful Korean Sunnyuh.

"Hello, Mrs. Parker," Tanya said with a polite bow.

"Good to see you again", Sunny said.

They piled into the little boat and the Korean fairy rowed them towards the island dominated by a grassy hilltop. The ease with which Sunny handled the boat showed she was stronger than she seemed.

"Where's little J.J?" Lady Nora asked.

The Sidhe love children and they were especially fond of John Joon Ho Parker.

"With Chris. He's such a handful now that he's discovered his magic abilities. I may soon take you up on your offer of a Sidh nanny to help care for him," Sunny said with a sigh.

Sunny beached the boat on the island's rocky shore. Tanya and the Dananns pushed through the tangled woods that followed the shoreline, the Sidhe with graceful ease, Tanya with twig-breaking clumsiness. They emerged into a prairie then passed through a bur oak wood at the foot of the hill. A flat stone was set into the side of the hill. Lord Cormac stood in front of this stone, chanting in the elvish tongue. A gate of pure light appeared in the stone. The elves and Tanya walked through it. Tanya almost doubled over when she was hit with the falling elevator-upset stomach feeling that passing through a Faerie gate produced in humans.

"That is the worst part of going to Faerie," the seventeen year old complained as she waited for the unpleasant feeling to pass.

Then she looked at the Faire - a sea of bright tents topped by colorful pennants blowing in a summer breeze that stretched to the horizons and an encircling ridge of purple mountains under a dazzling blue sky.

She noticed other things -- a blue marble pentagon-shaped building in front of which ran a path of glittering crushed stone, structures of wood and stone that lined the path, a distant roller coaster that soared into impossible loops and twisting turns. Everywhere were the creatures of Faerie -- tall slender Sidhe, grotesque goblins, little Faerie men, creatures with the bodies of men or women and the heads of animals, gigantic Ogres, winged sprites, and more. Most were either buying or selling something. A few rested over foaming mugs in open-air pubs.

"Wow!" Tanya said.

The Dananns watched in amusement as she stared in amazement.

"Who are those blue-green goblins?"

The goblins were going in and out of the pentagon shaped building. Both males and females were stocky, athletic - like wrestlers. They had long pointed ears, pointed chins, sensuous mouths, and up-tilted sapphire eyes. All wore a uniform of white and gold tunics pulled over elf-silver chain mail, a golden spiral and sunburst badge, and a large sword.

"The Faire Goblins. They are the police force of The Faire," Connla told Tanya.

"They are the ones to turn to if I run into trouble?"

"The Faire Goblins prevent riots and murders. They try to prevent the -- worst excesses -- in the Adults Only area. Other than those kinds of things you're on your own. It's strictly buyer beware in this place," Lord Cormac said.

"Is that roller coaster part of the amusement park Connla mentioned last night?"

"Yes - the scariest biggest neatest roller coaster in the universe," Connla said. "Someday we'll bring you to the amusement park and you can ride it."

"Not sure I want to."

Roller coasters were not Tanya's favorite thrill ride and that one looked like it might twist into other dimensions, which in Faerie might be a possibility.

They strolled along the tree-lined path that passed the Faire Goblins' headquarters. Most of the shops advertised their wares with hand-painted signs hung from horizontal poles. They passed clothing stores, a pottery shop, an armory, a tattoo parlor, and a little store that carried Pagan artifacts.

They passed a pub shaded by healthy ash trees where three Sidhe musicians sang to the accompaniment of two guitars and a harp. Delicious aromas wafted across the path, making Tanya's mouth water.

"Glad you brought me a picnic basket or else I'd have to eat Faerie food," Tanya said.

Lady Nora smiled.

"They use spells to make the delicious aromas waft way out here -- to lure customers in."

At the next pub three old fairy men performed a jig on a bodhran, uillean pipes, and a wooden flute. Gnomes danced on the grass in front of the pub. Past the pub a band of trooping fairies playing various instruments snaked past them then wandered into the sea of tents.

A third pub featured aromatic soups and stews served in bread bowls on wooden tables under magnificent oak trees. The waitresses were delicate women with pale green skin and green-streaked hair.

"Dryads," Lady Nora said. "Some of the ones we rescued from the chain saws and axes when they were but children and their oaks were little saplings - small enough to transplant."

"What happened to the Dryads whose oak trees were not saplings?"

"They died," Coran replied.

"Oh."

Then Tanya spotted the unicorn corral. Located off of the stone path, it was enclosed by a silver fence that glowed with magical power. The unicorns had wild dark eyes filled with sadness, manes, tails, and goatees like spun silver, spiraling horns of silver tipped with gold, and cloven feet of gold.

"Unicorns!"

"Yes, unicorns," Lady Nora said.

Lady Nora frowned.

"They belong in a magic wood running free. But Faerie folk think it's cute to buy one for their children. Only virgins can ride them. Yon dwarf, the unicorn master, has been forced into a life of celibacy in order to maintain his business. Which is why he has such a sour expression on his ugly face."

Tanya had to force herself to look from the unicorns to the wrinkled gray-bearded dwarf who was selling them.

"He does look unhappy. Maybe we could buy a unicorn and set it free."

"Don't waste your birthday gift on a unicorn," Lord Cormac said. "It's not as bad as my wife implies. Once the Faerie child grows up no one else can ride the beast, so inevitably they are returned to the wild and set free. Since they're immortal their captivity is but a brief nuisance."

"OK " I guess so - won't waste my birthday gift on one. But I must go over and see them, just this once."

When she approached the magic fence several of the marvelous creatures came over and called to her in voices that sounded like wind-chimes. Tanya reached up and patted a soft silky muzzle.

"Would the young miss like one of these magnificent mounts for her own?" the sour-faced dwarf asked.

"No, thank you. My guardian advises against it and -- I would have but a few short years left to ride it."

The Dwarf laughed an unpleasant laugh. Tanya glanced at the Danann family who remained on the gravel path.

"Connla, come see how soft their faces are," she called.

"He would only upset the unicorns if he came over," the dwarf told her with a suggestive smirk.

Tanya realized the implication of the dwarf's words and Connla's reluctance to join her.

"I guess he and Lily Blueeyes are more than computer buddies after all."

Tanya returned to the path and they headed towards the center of the Faire. They stopped as they spied a Sidh lord on a midnight black Faerie steed heading their way. He wore renaissance clothing with wide sleeves in bright yellow and green hues. A red belt and scabbard held an elf-silver sword; red boots were pulled over striped green and yellow tights. A black eagle adorned his brocade tunic. His long flowing hair was black as midnight with gleaming blue highlights.

"I've never seen a black-haired Sidh before," Tanya said.

"He is the head of the Faire-Childe clan who run this Faire -- as much as anyone can be said to run it," Coran told her.

The black horse stopped in front of the Dananns and the lord slipped off its bare back. Everyone bowed.

"Lord Cormac! Upon my word, tis good to see you here. It's been a long time since you brought your family to our little Faire," he said in a voice full of hearty warmth and good cheer.

"It has been a long time. Business concerns -- responsibilities -- What can I say? Today we search for a birthday gift for my coimirci, Miss Tanya Swift. Tanya, this is Lord Iolar Faire-Childe, the one in charge of this Faire."

"I'm pleased to meet you, sir."

Tanya bowed.

"No one runs this Faire. We Faire-Childes and the Goblins try to prevent violence and the most hideous of vices, but otherwise the Faire runs itself. So be careful as you shop, young human child. Even the protection of Lord Cormac will not save you from being cheated in this place."

"How do you know I am under Lord Cormac's protection?"

"You wear his ring and he called you his 'coimirci', which is Irish for a ward. That implies he is your 'coimirceoir', your guardian and protector. - So how does a human girl earn the protection of one of Faerie's most powerful lords?"

"By being born with Faerie sight and living across the street from the Dananns."

"Ah, yes -- I'd heard you were living among the humans these days," Lord Iolar said to Cormac Danann. "Nice meeting you, Miss Tanya. Enjoy searching for your birthday gift and try to avoid the cheats."

Lord Iolar bowed then lept gracefully onto his horse's back. He trotted off fast enough to force some Faire goers to leap out of his way. The Danann family continued their stroll. Tanya noticed a granite building with three doors leading into it. One had the universal circle and arrow sign for male over it; one door had the circle and cross sign for female over it and the third had the two signs combined. She breathed a sigh of relief that such buildings existed at The Faire.

They passed some animal-headed people whose appearance suggested they might be Egyptian deities. They radiated power.

"What happens to a deity when no one worships him any more?"

"They become fairies, like us," Lady Nora replied.

"Were you guys once worshipped as gods?"

"The oldest among us were. We ourselves worship our ancestress, Dana. With the reemergence of paganism in the modern world some of us might reach for godhood once more," Lord Cormac replied.

"Would you?"

Lord Cormac laughed, as hearty a laugh as Tanya had ever heard from him.

"Not me. I do not wish to become a deity. Being a lord is more than enough responsibility, too much sometimes. That's the trouble with power, Tanya. It always comes with a heavy shitload of duty and responsibility."

They walked past a tall fairy with spiked hair singing a hip-hop rap while Faerie youths danced wildly to the beat. A pied piper led a group of homely children in a line that snaked in and about the colorful tents.

"Aren't the parents afraid he might steal the children?"

The Danann family burst into laughter.

"They're already in Faerie," Lady Nora said.

"The pied pipers are the unofficial baby-sitters of The Faire," Coran explained. "Parents pay them to lead the children through The Faire in those 'Congo lines' while Mom and Dad sneak off for some adult fun."

They walked past vendors in permanent structures whose wares spilled out onto open porches and colorful tents which had one side open to reveal crowded interiors. Lord Cormac paused in front of a tent full of original art. Lady Nora stopped by a stand displaying costume dolls that walked and talked .

There was nothing that drew the attention of the birthday girl who was searching for a gift.

They reached the center of The Faire, a wildwood with an understory of thorns and flowering trees. Wildflowers twinkled among the moss and leaf cover of the woodland ground. Narrow dirt paths penetrated the woods.

"There's a fountain in the center of this wood - a good place to eat a picnic lunch," Lady Nora said.

Tanya realized she was both hungry and tired. They'd been strolling through The Faire far longer than she'd realized. She felt a sense of relief when they walked into the quiet woods. They passed others who had sought out the wood's cool restfulness. A couple of amorous green pixies under a flowering bush were indulging themselves in ways the teenager thought a mite too private for such a public place.

"I guess they won't be buying any unicorns today," she said with a laugh and a flush of pink on her cheeks.

Connla surprised Tanya by also blushing, a really pretty blush that seemed to glow from within. She had not realized the Sidhe could blush. Connla had just realized that Tanya understood the significance of his not approaching the unicorn corral earlier that day.

At its center the woods opened up into a field of bright flowers. In the middle of this field was a multi-tiered fountain whose top tier was a marble nymph pouring water from an urn. Butterflies and hummingbirds flew over the flowers. Sparrows with dark eyes sang from the woods. Benches provided resting spots for weary shoppers " most already occupied.

Lady Nora pulled a blanket out of the wicker basket and spread it over the stone pavement near the fountain. On it she placed the picnic in colorful containers -- sandwiches, rice with red beans, stuffed mushrooms, fruit, salted nuts, an avocado salad, and bottles of rose wine, dark ale, and root beer. The basket held more than seemed possible. It also kept hot foods piping hot and chilled foods refreshingly cold. It was delicious enough to make Tanya forget she was not allowed to eat the food of Faerie.

"So what do you think of our little Faire?" Connla asked.

"It's great! But it would take a month to see it all."

"It's always changing so you can never see it all, for once you've seen what was it has changed again," Coran told her.

"But, like all of Faerie, it has dangers -- and not just unethical merchants," Lord Cormac cautioned. "To the south is the adults only part of The Faire -- casinos, cat houses, opium dens - and much more. You can buy anything there; hardly any vice is illegal. They police it for cannibalism, child molesters, and snuff scenarios - but even those things can be set up in out-of-the-way places and hastily moved when the Faerie police show up. Were you foolish enough to come to The Faire alone those searching out 'talent' for the adults only area might think a cute little human girl like you was quite -- sellable."

Tanya shuddered.

"I guess I wouldn't be able to pet the unicorns any more."

"If you survived the experience at all," Lord Cormac said.

After lunch they cleaned up and returned the leftovers to the picnic basket. Past the woods was an athletic field where an archery contest was in progress.

A man with grizzly-colored hair dressed like a Sioux warrior won the contest.

"So -- Coyote wins again. Dawn and Dylan need to come back here. They were always able to best Coyote at archery in the past," Coran said.

"Has there ever been a human who could win it?" Tanya asked.

"Robin Hood could have I think. Dylan and Dawn once drew him into an archery contest and it came out a draw, with a lot of shattered arrows as they all three kept hitting the same dead-center mark," Lord Cormac said.

"I thought Robin Hood was just a myth."

The Danann family again laughed.

"Tanya, you are at The Faire in Faerie in the company of creatures out of fairy tales, surrounded by mythological beings -- and you think one skilled human archer was a myth. Robin Hood was real," Lord Cormac said.

"Oh."

Tanya began to search in earnest for her present. There was so much to choose from she did not know how she was going to make a choice. They reached an Asiatic culture area. A nearby bistro served Mideastern cuisine while dusky belly dancers entertained the crowd. In a Japanese Tea House the Geisha had multiple fox tails emerging from their silk kimonos. A few had silky fox heads. A big dark Jinn sold magic flying carpets. The sky over his booth was crowded with young elves, goblins, gnomes, and other fairy creatures, zooming and executing wild loops on their carpets. Near crashes were accompanied by screams and peels of laughter.

“That looks like fun," Tanya said.

"No!" Lord Cormac said. "I will not buy you a flying carpet so you can crash it and break every bone in your body."

"You sound like my father."

But she left the magic carpet lot to look over the other booths. One offered magic lanterns that, according to a flashy sign over the booth, contained tractable and amiable genies.

"There is no such thing as a tractable and amiable genie," Lord Cormac told Tanya. "Every last one of them will cheat you when you try to collect on your three wishes."

They approached a tent where a Hindu raja was selling jewelry. To Tanya's Faerie sight the vendor seemed but an ordinary human, the first besides herself she'd seen at The Faire. Yet he had an air of easy confidence and hidden power.

"Is that Indian man human?" she whispered.

The elves studied the Asian man intently.

"Not sure," Lord Cormac admitted. "He seems human - but Hindu deities have powers we Sidhe cannot penetrate. They can incarnate as humans which confuses the issue. He might be an incarnate Hindu god."

"Then I'd best treat him with the utmost respect as I look over his wares," Tanya said.

"I should think so," her guardian replied.

Tanya was drawn to the Hindu man's booth, perhaps due to some kind of a "come-on" spell. The jewelry was beautiful, delicate in design, and worth looking at. Tanya bowed respectfully to the proprietor. He returned her bow and smiled.

"Could I interest the young lady in a charming necklace or a lovely bracelet? Perhaps a set of earrings?"

"I have lots of earrings. And I don't wear bracelets," Tanya said, holding up her arms with their snake tattoos to show why she did not wear bracelets.

"Ah -- I have just the thing for the young lady, a truly exquisite and priceless pendant."

The man brought out a braided silver chain that held an oval pendant with fine filigree work and a coiled hooded king cobra in the center. The snake's open fanged mouth jutted out from the surface of the pendant. Its tiny eyes were sparkling rubies. The pendant seemed to call to Tanya. She knew this is what she wanted.

'It's probably bespelled to make it seem like it is calling me. And it is obviously way too expensive.'

But she gave Lord Cormac and Lady Nora a pleading look that was more eloquent than words.

"This is what you would like?" Lord Cormac asked.

Tanya nodded.

"This pendant was made for the young lady," the Hindu man said.

Lord Cormac took the pendant in his hands and studied it.

"There is power associated with this piece. Perhaps it is too dangerous for a human child."

Tanya was surprised at the intense disappointment she felt at his words. But she said nothing for she feared he was correct.

"It might be too dangerous for some humans but it will protect this one," the Hindu man assured the Sidh lord.

"How do I know I can trust you on that?" Lord Cormac replied.

"On this you can trust me. There are many other beautiful pieces of jewelry I could offer the child but I tell you -- this child was meant to wear this pendant."

"How much?" Lord Cormac asked.

Tanya's heart sped up as she realized he might buy it for her after all.

The Hindu jewelry vendor named a price. Lord Cormac made a counter-offer. This started a round of haggling that continued for what seemed like forever to Tanya, but was actually less than a half hour. Finally a price was agreed on. Tanya watched, amazed, as the sale was rung up on a computerized cash register and Lord Cormac paid for it with a well known platinum credit card.

"Happy Birthday, Tanya," the Sidh lord said as he fastened the pendant about her neck.

"Thank you. I love it."

Lady Nora came over and lightly touched the cobra pendant.

"Be careful what you do and say when you wear this. There's powerful magic associated with this piece and we have no idea what it does. I do believe it will protect you - but it might harm someone you care about to protect you."

"You mean like -- if I get angry at Mom or Dad the pendant might hurt them?"

"Perhaps. I hope it's not that easily evoked," Lady Nora replied.

Lady Nora spoke telepathically to her husband.

'What do you think? Is it safe for her?'

'I don't know. The vendor let me talk him down too easily. We got it at a bargain price. And bargains acquired at The Faire are often no bargains at all.'