Emptiness

When i look to the sky
Can't see the stars up high

Where are the beauties of the
night?
They used to shine so bright

I'm in an empty space
My heart's no longer in it's place
The constellations have
Abandoned me
Where'll I hide my face

And I search for the moon
But it's no where to be found
The night's so dark
Nobody around

Just me, myself and I
Sometimes I feel I've been crucified

Just wish i could pass
the night
I need something
to make it right

oh! the world
filled with places
I've been around
I've seen faces

Imagine a shoe
without laces
or a sentence
without spaces

That's why I need one
To make me whole
I need something
to call my own
I'm tired of living
This life alone
Sometimes I feel I've been
dumped in a hole

An angel I need
Please come down to me
Come set me free
From this misery

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a vivid portrayal of someone feeling very black & bleak. I love the way you've used the night sky as a place to demonstrate how dark this person feels . . . no stars, no moon. I also like the way you've used common everyday things like shoes & sentences, to demonstrate how empty they could be. Your second-to-last stanza could be a refrain for many living alone. You've expressed the yearning perfectly. Good job!

[Jerryyoung1z]

Thank you so so much for your wonderful review:-)

[Jess]

I agree with Barleygirl this is well written. You've captured the hole that loneliness can create and the feeling that only love can fill that empty feeling.

[Jerryyoung1z]

Thanks, really really

[Jess]

You're most welcome.

[Coyote Poetry]

I have known this place.
"An angel I need
Please come down to me
Come set me free
From this misery "
Waiting for nothing and needing reasons to go forward. A lot of sadness in your words and thoughts. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[.]

A brilliant piece of writing, Jerry.

We have all been in this place. The land of the lost. No moon. No sun. No stars. No hope. Some of us know this land only too well, my friend.
This is a brutal yearning cry for love, well written, with excellent metaphors and rhyme.
A very impressive poem, Jerry. Well Done.

[Jerryyoung1z]

wow, thanks so so much for the review

[N.Blue]

This hits home for me. Great Job!!

[Jennifer Shaw]

I really liked this! It's very relatable. I've been in this state of mind and heart many times. Thanks for sharing. =)

[Jerryyoung1z]

Thanks for reading and reviewing

[Ana Bahor]

This is a really beautifully written poem! You can clearly feel the emotion it took to get those words on paper... Just beautiful! Keep up the good work!

[Jerryyoung1z]

Thanks:) a lot.

[Archos]

Beautiful piece with a strong, melancholic feel! I especially like the phrase 'world filled with places'. It also feels very sincere. Thanks for sharing!

[Jerryyoung1z]

Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you like it.

[DaVoid]

Wonderful structured. Small and fragile sentences.
I can feel and see what you are saying.
Mythical yet human.

Thanks for sharing.

[Jerryyoung1z]

Thanks for the review.