Everybody's Got a PC but me

the title pretty well says it but it's meant to be hillbilly fun

Everbody’s got a P.C. but me

And I’m ‘bout as jealous as I can be

From Cousin Frank to Aunt Lenore

No one’s talkin’ like before

‘Cause everbody’s got a P.C. but me

 

Now I was settin’ in that little house behind the house

When I heared someone say somethin’ about a mouse

An’ I swear I damn near crawled down inside

But when I listened close to what was said

an’ all the confusion left m’ head

I jus’ set there with m’ Sears catalog an’ cried

‘Cause everbody’s got a P.C. but me

 

Now-a-days they’re loggin’ off an’ loggin’ on

Yep the days o’ talkin’ ‘bout huntin’ an’ fishin’ are gone

They’re playin’ ‘round on that thing they call ah inernet

Surfin here an’ surfin’ there

An’ doggone it jus’ don’t seem fair

‘Cause I don’t have one, at least not yet

‘Cause everbody’s got a P.C. but me

 

Well I broke down an’ bought me one

An’ that’s pertnear the dumbest thing I’ve ever done!

‘Cause that contraption thinks it’s smarter n’ me

Ya’ see it thinks it knows before I do!

Whether or not I got mail, I swear it’s true!

Now if that ain’t the durndest thing I ever did see!

Now everbody’s got a P.C. includin’ me

 

Well, I throwed that sucker up there on the shelf

And I went huntin’ by m’self

Jes’ me an’ my ol’ rifle an’ Ol’ Blue

We got us a whole mess a birds

Had a lot more fun then them computer turds

Hell, we even got us a snowshoe or two

An’ everbody’s still got a P C but me 

Now, Aunt Lenore stopped by the other day

With her hair up in curlers an’ in gen’r’l disarray

Smellin’ like a cross ‘tween an ol’ sow an’ Ol’ Blue

Tellin’ me her and an’ Uncle George was callin’ it quits

‘Cause he kep’ havein’ them computer fits

An’ she’d warned him too many times an’ now they was through

An’ now there’s startin’ to be hell to pay, don’t cha’ see

 

Well, I invited my poor ol’ aunty in fer a beer

An’ told her true an’ straight an’ so sincere

“That computer’s a war they ain’t no way ya’ can win!”

An’ she said, “That computer’s a lot more fun

Then ol’ George ever was when all’s said an’ done

An’ I don’t see why lovin’ both of ‘um is sech a sin”

She wasn’t ‘bout to give up her P C don’t ya’ see

 

Now this sad story ‘bout ol’ Aunt Lenore

Is only one a’ many I’ve heared before

An’ I’m hearin’ more of ‘um ever day

So I caution you my disbelievin’ friend

That Devil’s contraption ‘ill get ya’ in the end

When all the lovin’ simply gets in the way

 

An’ I’m so glad everbody’s got a P.C. but me

 

An’ that makes me ‘bout as happy as I can be