Appearances

Heartbreaking beauty was what I experienced when I saw her.  Even I didn't know what I was thinking, but it couldn't be helped.  I couldn't understand what was so different about this angelic being standing a short distance from me.  I've never been one to care much for someone's physical appearance, ever.  I can see physical attributes that would be appealing to others and decide if I think that they make a person socially attractive.  However, never have I witnessed physical beauty from strictly my own opinion.

So as countless thoughts race through my brain causing mostly confusion, I realize that I'm staring at this girl and look away and move on as a natural reaction.  Too late, however, to avoid the feeling that I have probably just given this girl the creeps.  Decisions aren't always such a great friend of mine, so I walk over to show her that I'm no threat.  To my surprise, this encounter was very casual and simple considering how significant it was to how I thought of myself as a person.  As she spoke and revealed a little about herself, I shifted my stance on just how angelic she appeared to me.  

We had a quite lengthy conversation and exchanged phone numbers before continuing with our day.  But before I had gotten more than a few steps away, I realized that my mental image of this girl who I had never met completely altered how I physically saw her.  Thus, she was just as unattractive as anyone other random person with less desirable physical traits.  Is this normal?  Should I be worried about why I think like this? She raised even more questions after the initial ones had been answered to my satisfaction.

After much thought and time passed, I came to a conclusion.  The instant I saw this girl, I created not just a mental image of her physically, but a mental image of what I wanted her personality to be like as well.  Perhaps I shouldn't have walked up to her after seeing her.  Maybe I would've been happier thinking that there was someone out there with that level of beauty just to keep me looking instead of thinking.  Seems a little unfair that because she didn't meet the specific qualifications that made her similar to my mental image, I will not be calling her or even have any interest in her at all.  Then again, don't we all make mental images of people in our lives and feel disappointment whenever they stray?