Akane Power of the Sword Prologue-CH.1 Sneak Peek (in Testing)

From the beginning of time samurai have practiced the ways of the sword everything was peaceful in their land until one day the heads of the 6 noble samurai dynasties gathered to discuss ways to better themselves in their practices. Things went terribly wrong and the heads were ambushed and killed. The dynasties fell apart,several wars were started between the dynasties,each decreased in the amount of samurai and all were weakened.Their land was divided and each given a name.The Fire dynasty received the land,Kasainotochi; the dynasty of water, Mizunotochi; Earth, Chikyunotochi; Wind, Kazenotochi; Heaven, Tenchi and Void, Boidonotochi.The wars between the dynasties continued many even took place in their own lands this withered away all their cities.They were consumed by darkness through all the mass depression the only airs to the dynasties were lost .....   10 years later in the darkened slums of Kasainotochi lyes a boy hated by everyone but destined for greatness... Akane. 

Author's Note

Leave reviews please.

Reviews

[Amanda]

This story succeeded in thoroughly teasing me. It feels like it should continue, and I sincerely hope you plan to elaborate on this fabulous start. I have a passion for Japan and Japanese folklore, having spent a considerable amount of time studying there. I hope this is only the start to a very compelling piece of work. Keep writing! :)

[H-Jonesy]

This sounds oh so interesting, I would read on-and keep readin untill the end. A few things, you have some run-ons, and only a scentence or few was choppy. Nothing that cant be fixed.

Ex: "The fire dynasty received the land Kasainotochi.The dynasty of water received Mizunotochi.Earth received the land Chikyunotochi.Wind received Kazenotochi.The dynasty of heaven received the land Tenchi.Boidonotochi was given to the void dynasty"


You can just quickly sum this up in one scentence like : The Fire dynasty received the land,Kasainotochi; the dynasty of water, Mizunotochi; Earth, Chikyunotochi; Wind Kazenotochi; Heaven, Tenchi and Void, Boidonotochi.
Simple and quick..thogh...i probably used the semi collens wrong (curse them!).

Any who, this sounds very interesting, and you seem to have a..story telling nack..Almost like your sitting on grandpas lap, and hes telling you a ancient story. Thats what this feels like any way.

I have to say this reminds me of Naruto, with the devide of the lands. I'd love to see how you work this out.

Great job!

-Roxy/Harmony