Emptiness

I'm tired.

It's not even 12 am yet and I am completely and utterly tired.

I feel pain in my upper and lower back, my eyes are even more tired than I am.

I don't even know why I'm writing this, I just have the need to express how tired I am.

I'm so tired my eyes are practically shutting while I'm writing this.

I'm just so tired physically, energy is leaving my body by the second.

but,

I'm exhausted mentally.

I'm exhausted by the fact that I'm not with the love of my life everyday.

I'm exhausted because of the thoughts and flashbacks everyday of my grandpa's death.

I'm exhausted because as much as I understand things, bad things still come to me.

but most of all, 

I'm practically a walking zombie, 

because I simply don't know how to deal with all of this.

I'm empty and I don't know why.

20/01/2016

Today is the 5th month my grandpa's been gone.