Blue

Walking along the usual glass

I saw him-

he was breaking

with eyes the color of an overcast

The tips of my shoes clicked and clacked-

remorsefully, I headed back to solid ground

I turned the corner of a memory

and saw him bigger, brighter than ice

Not like now, with time crystallized

and his skin

matching the sky's mood and mine
 

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

That was flipping amazing. I loved hearing your voice read your words. I need to find out where I can do that at. This was beautiful and I really allowed myself to become so lost deep in between your words, your voice and the soft music playing in the back ground. You are a bad a*s I must say. I truly enjoyed this and am so in awe with you at this moment.

[E. M. Murren]

This is such a deceptively simple piece with powerful undercurrents. Exquisite work. I love the piano behind your voice... so delicate. Great presentation.

[K]

The imagery of the words you used in this poem were so creative. I'm in awe of how fresh and clever your writing is.

[Tara Jean Olson]

wonderful use of context. the imagery is marvelous, jenny

[TheodoreBlack]

I love the flow of strange and oddly beautiful images your string together. The structure is different and intriging - the way I like my poetry :) A nice mixture of effects as well, loved the 'clicked and clacked' sound dropped in there. If this makes sense, there seems to be a consistent colour tone throughout... 'overcast', 'ground', 'ice'. Greys and whites, pales... I really like the tone of this piece. It's a cracking write! Kudos to you! :)

[Shelly Wiseberg]

Beautiful, Shell

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

This is really nice, and I agree with Robert, good to hear your voice. Amazing. Debileah

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

A beautiful poem. Jenny. Enjoyed hearing , listening .. having pc problems be back later... love ya

[BrightEyes]

"I turned the corner of a memory..." I am always turning those corners - causing comparisons between the then and the now - sometimes leaving me feeling bereft. You've captured the essence of past regret and present sadness wonderfully here - I can't get the music or listen to you read since I'm at work (d****t!) and I'm not sure the piece of crap I have at home will let me do it either. Great write!

*hugs*

laura

[The Archangel Gabriel]

I agree with Luna. That was a wonderful job. I really liked the music that you selected for this work. It was just about perfrect.

"he was breaking
with eyes the color of an overcast"

Great image! Great work overall, and the vocal file made a perfect addition.

-Gabe

[Blackbirdsong]

I'm going to have to ask you how you did the music and vocal on this poem. Esnips keeps killing my music and since I pay for it and only use it here...anyway I love this poem and I love being able to hear you read it...and with musical accompaniment no less...I miss the puppies though :)