Cadence

Just having some fun with sounds.

The pendulum swung under a clock

 

Tick, tick, tock, tock

 

She lit a candle to lighten the room

 

click, click, shhfoom, shhfoom

 

Small corners illuminated as she wept

 

drip, drip, clept, clept

 

Morning found her where she had been

 

humf, humf, zinn, zinn
 

Reviews

[Otto L.n. Pipgras]

after reading this one a few times each line became the rise and fall of the chest in sleeping breath somewhere in an audible dream. the last line left an impression of a stubbornness to let go of someone or something which ultimately must happen. This lent to the idea that this was perhaps a bad dream. Of course this is all my take on it...I'm probably totally off base.

the title was perfect, as was the cadence of the words. the sounds were excellent...I can tell you had some fun writing this one...I'd like to hear it read and hear you make the sounds... good stuff, Jenny!

[Le' Pugh']

shhfoom, shhfoom! I love Hotwheels!

I love this poem to. I read it to the tick of a clock and that made it fun.

Good. Playful. New style for you!

Simply, Le' (SHHFOOM!)

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I enjoyed this and heard the sounds too.. i like it .. more?
lol

Chloe
xoxo

[Angelheaded Hipster]

I like the sounds you have used here....it seems like I can never find enough of these...
I imagine her curled up asleep in a huge over stuffed chair, snoring next to the louder clock...

[Ed Hart]

i like the sound of yes, yes, yes...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

An interesting poem... almost how someone might feel when they are alone and feel there world is crumbling around them... they feel trapped and on the verge on insanity... I could feel the walls closing in as I read it. Great work.

[Dezaraye]

shhfoom, shhfoom

That made me giggle. I loved your fun sounds. This reminds me of Shel Silverstein's writing. It's a really fun to read piece.